hi dinah you just replied to my previous question regarding my stepson "lazy bones with privileges". i would like to add a bit of information. My husband and I have a wonderful loving marriage, however, the only times we have problems is when it concerns the raising of the kids (his bio and my steps). i actually wrote john a question in 2011 and it was published in the newspaper and i noticed it on this site under stepfamilies, so it may help you to read it. As far as my stepson is concerned, most of his electronics he paid for himself as of late, since he started working and I believe with my quick intervention, we put a stop to a potentially serious problem with drugs. However, you were spot on about the marriage being of utmost importance. The problem is that my husband does not want to discipline, unless I work to convince him. He is a physician and claims that he isn't around enough to enforce rules. Truth is he is home everyday around 5 or 6, and that is a cop out. As an example he paid full tuition for room and board for his daughter annd was afraid to ask her for her grades, which were not good. He handles the money, so I know he continues to give the 50.00 a month even though he tells me he agrees with me. Should i just give up where this spoiling is concerned? I have been raising his 11 year old also since he was 4 (i do consider him my own) and my husband was happy to never step in and is very happy with the way he is developing. However he continues to close his eyes to problems concerning the 2 older kids. Sorry so long and complicated, but for the sake of my sanity and our marriage should I just sit back and watch the train wreck?