14 year old Food Fight

Question

After I read Teen Proof, my wife agreed to go 100% using the principles in the book with my 14yr old daughter related to homework and school and we have had great success. I got excellent advice from a previous question and it worked beautifully. She suffered some consequences, but ultimately, she achieved on her own.

My question is now related to the general management of my daughter's behavior with food. She is not overweight but may be challenged with it as she gets older. My wife monitors her food consumption and is regularly directing her to not eat a particular food or telling her how much of it she is allowed to eat. Mom lets her snack but is just wanting her to not eat junk all the time or to overeat. It appears, if left to her own devices, my daughter would eat very poorly outside of meal time. My daughter eats fine at meal times, as Mom prepares these meals but there is always a debate concerning the allowance of dessert after meals and if allowed, there is often a disagreement about what the dessert should be. Mom eats very healthy by the way and I tend to eat a little less healthy but make good moderate choices when I eat less healthy. Should we let her eat as much of what she wants or keep monitoring? I'm concerned if my wife keeps monitoring her food consumption that when given the opportunity outside the home or once she is on her own in 4 or 5 years, she will just go crazy with bad food choices.

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