3.5 year old defiance

Question

Hello
I am the mom of 3.5 year old twins, and stepmom of a 10 year old girl.
My twins (a boy and a girl) are generally sweet and loving, but I feel I am definitely at the cusp of a big discipline problem. While my daughter listens to me (most of the time) her brother is increasingly defiant. Today I took away a privilege for bad behaviour while we were out. Upon our return home he threw our kitten down the upstairs balcony while I was busy in the kitchen. Thankfully the kitten survived, after much trauma for everyone & a $700 vet bill.
He seems to be unaware of how horrible his actions were.
I have been reading your blog re: discipline and I see that your recommend putting them in their room for the rest of the day. How do you keep them in there?? Do you lock the door? (ours does not have a lock) Threaten if he comes out?
Threaten with what? Spanking????
Help !

PS my stepdaughter received very little discipline while growing up and is definitely a good model for defiance while she is with us, 50% of the time, but that is a whole other story...

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