4 year old toileting woes


My almost 4 year old son (only child) has been potty trained for #1 for 1.5 years. He has never really pooped in the toilet. He likes to squat and poop and keep playing. About 2 weeks ago, I told him no more pull ups and we are trying your various methods. He sits (not happily) on the toilet every hour (via a timer) for 15 minutes. It never works. He goes to his room for 2+ hours when he poops in his undies and it doesn’t phase him (no books or toys). I've made him scrub his poopy undies and hosed his bottom off with the outside hose. He is fine with it-thinks it’s a new adventure. He is our only child, I am an only child and my husband is a 1st born-we all like control. I've tried pretending to call the doctor, charts, rewards, taking all toys away... I am sure we micromanage, but I don't know how to get him to at least poop once on the toilet so he gets the concept. It's like he doesn't know how to relax and let it happen on the toilet-he just wants to squat in a corner. I'm losing my mind...and beating myself up for not hitting this hard core last year when I started staying at home with him. I think gating him in the bathroom will cause an even bigger power struggle. Can you please help me with some ideas on next steps?

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