Questions

Parenting in Step Families

Posted on 4/5/2016

We are a struggling blended family. My husband has 3 children (ages 7, 12, 17) from a previous marriage. They would most likely still be married if they saw eye to eye on how life/children...

5 year old Limiting Gifts

Posted on 12/17/2015

I have a 5 year old stepson. My husband and I really try to limit the number of new toys he gets. Including gifts from family, he gets a handful of new toys at the holidays and for his birthday....

14 Year Old Disrepect

Posted on 11/17/2015

My 14 year old step-daughter is incredibly rude and disrespectful of her father and I. She comes to our house every other week after a week of being indulged by her mother, and demands that we...

11 Year Old Disrespectful

Posted on 10/24/2015

My 11 year old son has a terrible temper and disrespects me and my husband (his step-dad). He calls others names when he gets mad and says hurtful things. His own dad is more permissive (and where...

15 yo Disrespect--Should Parent Apologize?

Posted on 7/23/2015

My husband and stepdaughter (15) had an argument. She lives with us full time but violated a rule, was called out on it and she escalated with (what she thought) were hurtful statements. One of...

Step son in the middle

Posted on 7/7/2015

My youngest stepson informed me that his mother & stepfather told him that the child support they pay us is to go into the boys savings accounts, that "we are taking it from them by keeping it...

7 yo Tattling Revisited

Posted on 7/2/2015

As to your answer to my previous question, it isn't relevant since we never get to have our grandson at our home for a visit. He tattles on us right in front of us at his home. Any indiscretion is...

7 yo Tattling

Posted on 6/16/2015

I have a very bright 7-year old step-grandson, "Jake," whose parents have been divorced since he was 2. After every visitation with his dad, his mom grills him to determine whether her ex has done...

12 yo Make-Up, Revisited

Posted on 5/12/2015

To Dinah - Replying to your response: my daughter is 12!! While 14 and 16 are fine ages to enhance their faces, a 12 year old who is immature and encouraged by biomom to look sexy isn't the...

Blending Family

Posted on 5/7/2015

We are blending a family with three children ages 9,11, and 12. The 9 and 11 year old are siblings (a boy and a girl). The 11 and 12 year olds are boys. The boys often do not get along and we...

12 yo Make Up

Posted on 5/4/2015

Our 12 yr. old daughter (soon to be 13) wants to wear make up. She has bad acne and, although I have showed her how to clean her face and bought the treatments and creams, she is lazy about doing...

No Soda Pop?

Posted on 4/20/2015

On the way to & from the bus for school, my 13 yr old stepson has been stopping by my mother's home (she lives beside us) & going into her garage & taking soda for himself & his brother. The...

Still No Soda...

Posted on 4/20/2015

To Melinda S.Norris, who just answered my question, which you titled "No Soda Pop?" My mother did not leave her garage door open, he quietly went in to get the soda, without permission. And...

Sticky Situation

Posted on 2/2/2015

My significant other of 13 years is still "loaning" money to his 28 yo college graduate son with a $30K+ job who still lives with his Mother. The son texts or calls him almost weekly to put $ into...

19 yo Keeping Secrets

Posted on 12/28/2014

My stepdaughter is 19 and I have been raising her alongside her dad, since we were married when she was 12. Her bio mother passed when she was 10. She has many serious problems which my husband...

Dating Again

Posted on 10/29/2014

I am a divorced father of a 5 year old girl. I have had primary custody of our daughter for 1 ½ years- however the actual divorce judgment was signed a mere 2 months ago. (My daughter doesn't...

Stepsons and Chaos

Posted on 10/28/2014

I have two stepsons ages 8 and 5, who have behavioral problems. When they visit our home it is total chaos. They say they don't want to be at our house and just want to go back to their moms....

Siblings poor influences on younger brother

Posted on 9/15/2014

I need advice and guidance. I have been raising 3 stepchildren for 8 years. They are now 17 almost 19 and the youngest will be turning 12 on wednesday. The oldest is a girl and the two younger...

17 yo Lazy Bones with Privileges Followup

Posted on 8/27/2014

hi dinah you just replied to my previous question regarding my stepson "lazy bones with privileges". i would like to add a bit of information. My husband and I have a wonderful loving marriage,...

Moms/StepMoms

Posted on 8/27/2014

My almost three year old son lives with his mother. He visits overnight once a week and every other weekend... I cannot say this to my husband, but the little guy's "mommy" is trying to make "her...

17 yo Lazy Bones with Privileges

Posted on 8/26/2014

Please offer your opinion on this subject as my husband and I differ on this matter. Do you feel that a 17 year old boy who doesn't do chores (except take out recycling and clean up his bathroom...

Blended family freedom

Posted on 8/26/2014

I need advice. We have a blended family, he had two, I had one, and we had two together. Tonight, my stepson (14) said he no longer wanted to come to our house. He's "done with us and our house"....

Parents MUST Get on the Same Page Regarding Teen Drug Use

Posted on 8/17/2014

My stepson (I have been raising him since he was 10, bio mother is deceased) just turned 17 and my husband (his dad) and i purchased him a car to drive back and forth to work. i suspected that he...

13 yo tyrant and family issues, redux

Posted on 5/14/2014

Thank you for your quick response. I feel I have more guilt than fear. My daughters’ bio-father wasn’t in her life much until about a year ago and now its fun time dad every other weekend and has...

stepmom?

Posted on 5/2/2014

John recently addressed the topic of a daughter calling her stepmother "Mom". I'd like to find his answer as it was spot on with respect as to what we are experiencing. Could you direct me to...

Step mom wants to be called "Mom"

Posted on 3/20/2014

I am a "bonus Mom" (step mother) to 3 children. They were 3, 6 and 8 when my husband and I married. They are now 7, 10 and almost 12. Over the past three years the two youngest have called me...

Step Dad is Disrespected

Posted on 2/7/2014

I am the step-father of a six year old girl who, as of lately, has been blatently disrespectful to me. I am afraid of giving her a consequence, as it creates a divide between us for a week or so....

Husband wants to lead, but doesn't

Posted on 10/8/2013

I am a stepmother to three children. My husband and I believe in traditional roles where the marriage comes first and the man leads the household. My issue - my husband is laid back so I take...

5 year old : Spending Time With Son

Posted on 8/27/2013

I have a 5 year old stepson, who is with us 2 nights a week- one school night (after school-bedtime) and Sundays (around 10am-bedtime). My husband plays and interacts with him almost the entire...

5 year old : Tantrums

Posted on 8/1/2013

I am stepmother to a 5 year old boy. As would be expected for a young child, he sometimes misses his mother when he is with us. However, "missing Mommy" sometimes escalates into a full blown...

5 year old : Differing values

Posted on 5/14/2013

My husband and I have a 5 year old stepson. We recently found out that his mother (the ex-wife) is having her boyfriend move in with them. To say that we do not approve of this arrangement is an...

Teenager : Parents as friends

Posted on 1/21/2013

How do you feel about teens calling a parent their bestfriend? My stepdaughter calls her mother her bestfriend (literally). She has difficulties keeping friends, as she is bossy and demanding, and...

Teenager : step parenting

Posted on 10/24/2012

What is the role of a step parent in parenting teenage step children? My step son moved in with us and March and is disrupting our marriage. He does what he wants , when he wants and there are no...

Teenager : Expectations

Posted on 8/28/2012

I have two teenage daughters and am divorced. They have one set of expectations at my house (no name calling, no rated R movies, no "Family Guy", no bad language, etc.) and another at their Dad's...

5 year old : When and How to tell child about deceased Mother

Posted on 8/14/2012

My Daughter died in a car accident when my granddaughter was seventeen months old. Her Dad has remarried and with my approval my granddaughter calls and believes her wonderful stepmother to be...

3 year old : How to tell a child about his biological father

Posted on 7/23/2012

My daughter left her ex-husband due to his excessive use of alcohol and refusal to get help when her son,Colin,was 4 months old. She divorced him, has remarried and has another child. Colin was 3...

Teenager : Should you assign household chores differently in a blended family

Posted on 7/13/2012

My wife and I are having a serious disagreement and it is causing us a lot of difficulty. We have a blended family of 2 girls (her daughters from a previous marriage)and my son. We are of opposite...

3 year old : Discipline in a divorce situation

Posted on 7/6/2012

Thank you Susan! I'd love some specific examples/direction if possible? When I get son back from Dad and he disobeys, should I right away apply the ticket system, even if it means son spending...

4 year old : Explaining divorce to a young child

Posted on 5/15/2012

My 4 year old stepson recently asked my husband why mommy and daddy don't live together (they separated when he was 18 months). His father responded that when he was a baby, they did live...

Teenager : Ex-huband and I not agreeing on parenting issues

Posted on 3/18/2012

My ex-husband and I do not agree on parenting discipline measures. She is 14 and lives with me. He lives out of town but is constantly disagreeing with my discipline measures. She loves horses and...

Teenager : BM undermining punishments

Posted on 2/23/2012

13 YO SS is at my house 50% of time, at his mother's 50%. At our house, there are rules and consequences. At his mother's there are none. Currently my step son has failing grades. Instead of our...

Teenager : Step daughter

Posted on 12/15/2011

Hello. My husband and I have been married for a little over 2 years. He has full custody of his 13 year old daughter. Her mother is an alcoholic and drug addict who now lives in Florida with her...

10 year old : Bringing about 'revolution' in a blended family.

Posted on 10/25/2011

My husband has three 10 year olds. The mother left when they were 4 and has been in and out of their life sporadically since. Two years ago (about the time I married my husband) she came back into...

Pre-teen : Lying kids and Ex-wife

Posted on 10/24/2011

We have been married for five years, and he has 2 kids, 12 and 13, that live with their mom. We have tried our best, but things have gotten really bad this year. Basically, my stepkids live in a...

7 year old : Consistentency Among Divorced Parents

Posted on 9/14/2011

How can I help my fiance raise her 7-year-old son correctly when her ex-husband isn't on the same page with her? When their son is in his care, he doesn't discipline consistently or at all and...

5 year old : Intimidation and name-calling by parent?

Posted on 9/13/2011

After a bitter divorce, our daughter has been awarded primary custody of her two boys, 5 and 7. The father is determined to make "men" of his boys, and accomplishes this by various methods. Most...

Pre-teen : Conflict with mother about ADHD

Posted on 8/9/2011

My husband and I have been married for 5 years and I have a 13 year old step son and 12 year old daughter that have 'ADHD'. I read your book and believe ADHD to be defined as 'Adults who Don't...

21 year old Out of control step son

Posted on 8/3/2011

What to do with a 21 year old step son who has never been made to take responsibility for himself or his actions? Every time he has made a mistake, his mom has covered for him, lied for him and...

12 year old : What should a stepchild call her/his stepparent?

Posted on 7/25/2011

I became a stepmom ten years ago when my stepdaughter was 2 years old. We have 50/50 custody so her visitation schedule is week on/week off. When she is at our house, I am the mom, my husband the...

Teen goes goth

Posted on 1/24/2011

My step-daughter likes to wear all black, right down to the long black coat and black nail polish. She struggles in school and my husband and I worry that this will take her down a darker path,...

Questions

Search All Questions