John's Articles
When Your Father Got Home
Posted on 2/28/2024
The most terrifying words a child of the baby boom generation ever heard: “I’m going to tell your father about this when he gets home.” Or, “Your father is not going to like it when I tell him...
Read More15 New Year's Resolutions for Parents
Posted on 1/1/2024
<b>Given that the new year is upon us, I'm proposing a number of parenting resolutions for my readers to consider. The list is by no means comprehensive. It's just a good beginning on what is...
Read MoreDon't Make Santa Claus Into a Boogie Man
Posted on 12/8/2023
Okay, stop it! Enough, already! I guess we need some rules around here, beginning and ending with, “Don’t make Santa Claus into a boogie man.” I know him personally and he’s the...
Read MoreParents of Bullies Can (and Should) Stop the Cycle
Posted on 10/4/2023
A sixth-grade teacher recently shared the following story with me: Two girls in her class were making fun of a classmate whose family was struggling financially. The girl was socially awkward and...
Read MoreSociety Has Dumbed-Down the Definition of Bullying
Posted on 10/3/2023
Noting that October is Bullying Prevention Month, several editors have asked if I am willing to write an apropos column. I am and for two reasons feel eminently qualified to do so. ...
Read MoreThe Blessing of Being Unpopular
Posted on 8/16/2023
When my daughter Amy entered middle school, she looked two to three years younger than most of her female peers. That was a blessing to me, of course, but from Amy's perspective, it was a curse....
Read MoreResolutions for a New School Year
Posted on 8/16/2023
With a new school year upon us, it might be wise for parents of school-age children to make some resolutions, as in promises to themselves to change certain behaviors, avoid certain pitfalls,...
Read MorePlease, If You Have Any Compassion, Stop It!
Posted on 7/11/2023
Today’s parents, more specifically, and I say this at the risk of being cancelled by the PC police, today’s MOTHERS, read too much, talk too much, and think too much. They read too many parenting...
Read MoreAnd the Eyes of Both of Them Were Opened
Posted on 6/23/2023
Circa 450 BC, Greek philosopher Protagoras coined his most famous line: “Man is the measure of all things.” That is a claim, not a fact. It is, in fact, mankind’s chief claim to fame. Man was...
Read MoreThe Paradox of the Great Dad
Posted on 6/14/2023
What is a “great dad”? The question came up during conversation with a young man in his late twenties who remarked that several equally young men of his acquaintance were “great dads.” In my...
Read MoreYouth Sports Drive Adults Crazy
Posted on 6/6/2023
My family moved to Westchester, Illinois, in 1956, where I began fourth grade at High Ridge School. At the time, my athletic skills consisted of catching and throwing a baseball. The kids in my...
Read MoreWe Shouldn't Always Shield Our Children From Pain
Posted on 6/6/2023
The depraved excepted, parents do not enjoy making children unhappy. Nevertheless, sometimes it is in a child's best interest that parents - while not deliberately trying to induce unhappiness -...
Read MoreWhy Hanna Sleeps With Us
Posted on 5/9/2023
My wife, Willie (nee Wilma), and I are the happy caretakers of a happy seventeen-month-old pure white toy schnauzer, Hanna. Hanna occupies the center of our attention. If you spent a day in our...
Read MoreColumn Retirement Announcement
Posted on 5/8/2023
The time has come, as was inevitable. I began writing my column for my local paper – the Gastonia, NC, Gazette – in 1976. The Charlotte Observer picked it up in 1978 and put it on the...
Read MoreWhat Constitutes a Good Mother?
Posted on 5/7/2023
With Mother's Day upon us, I’m going to talk about mothers—one in particular. To begin with, assuming one believes his or her mother is worthy of admiration, then said esteem ought...
Read MoreDaughter Worries About Getting Sick Again
Posted on 4/18/2023
Q: Our 7-year-old daughter recently had a short-lived stomach virus. Ever since she has been fearful that eating may make her sick. Every night at dinner she becomes concerned that she’s...
Read MoreDon't Turn Little Issues Into Big Problems
Posted on 4/11/2023
Q: My almost-3-year-old, when I begin to do something, will yell, “I WILL DO IT!” When it’s something he can do, fine, but if it’s not, then I just say, “No, Mommy will do it” and that’s the end...
Read MoreSolve Behavioral Issues With Good Leadership
Posted on 4/4/2023
The question parents most frequently ask begins “What should I do when my child…?” and closes with a description of a vexing behavior, as in, “What should I do when my child bites the family...
Read MoreIs It Okay for a Toddler to Play With His Food?
Posted on 3/28/2023
Q: Our 22-month-old son has developed a bad habit of spitting out bites of food. The first time it happened, I had set a cup on his tray while he was still chewing a bite of food. He...
Read MoreRosemond’s Bill of Rights for Children
Posted on 3/21/2023
In 1993, President Clinton signed the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, an international treaty that extends to children the rights to associate with whom they please and have...
Read MoreFather Feels Rejected by 18-Month-Old Son
Posted on 3/14/2023
“What have I done to cause my 18-month-old son to reject me?” asks a new dad. Whenever he tries to hold his son, feed, dress, or change him, the child puts up great resistance and screams...
Read MoreGrandparents, Hold Onto Your Hats
Posted on 3/7/2023
Our Question of the Week is, “Pray tell, what is ‘outdated’ about obedience, respect, proper manners, and humility?” Said QOTW is prompted by numerous grandparents who have...
Read MoreLeadership, Not Friendship
Posted on 2/28/2023
Q: I recently read an article by a parenting expert who said adults need to earn the respect of children. That seems like one more progressive attempt to undermine parental authority. I...
Read MoreWho Decides Choices — Parent or Child?
Posted on 2/21/2023
My wife and I were enjoying an evening out in one of our favorite restaurants when a family of three—mother, father, girl of perhaps four—were shown to a table next to ours. Immediately, the...
Read MoreToddler Q&A
Posted on 2/14/2023
Q: When we reprimand our 34-month-old daughter for something, anything, she begins to wail like we’re beating her. Whether we firmly redirect or simply say, "No,” she begins to wail like...
Read MoreADHD Due to Environmental Factors, Not Genetics
Posted on 2/7/2023
A major American newspaper recently published a letter from a gentleman who, apparently speaking from personal experience, claimed that attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a real...
Read MoreThe End of Mere Childrearing
Posted on 1/31/2023
“What went wrong, John?” asked a fellow boomer who, like many folks my age, are dismayed at what has happened within the American family over our lifetimes. Specifically, we have seen the end of...
Read MoreCommonsense Knows the Truth About Self Esteem
Posted on 1/24/2023
A fellow psychologist says I paint with too broad a brush concerning the devastating effect mental health professional advice has had on children. He claims that some of the changes in parenting...
Read More'The Doctor' Prevails Again
Posted on 1/17/2023
Regular readers of this column are no doubt familiar with my imaginary friend, The Doctor. I often call upon him to solve behavior problems of various sorts concerning young children. Well, The...
Read MoreHow to Make No-TV Rule Stick
Posted on 1/10/2023
Q: I’m a single mom who works from home. At noon, I pick up my 5-year-old from half-day kindergarten. Because I’m unable to pay attention to her while I’m working, she wants to watch...
Read MoreSolution to Teens Leaving Clothes on Floor
Posted on 1/3/2023
Q: Getting my daughters, fifteen and thirteen, to pick up their clothes from the floors of their rooms requires constant nagging from me. I’m at my wit’s end. Please help me out with...
Read MoreStarting Toilet Training Early Pays Off
Posted on 12/27/2022
Q: My grandmother maintains that her children – my mother and her two siblings, all born in the 1950s – were completely toilet trained at 18 months. Her terse explanation: “I just gave...
Read MoreConnect Son With Person You Both Trust
Posted on 12/20/2022
Q: Our fifteen-year-old son has pronounced mental health issues. He deals with multiple anxieties, depression, and is painfully shy. You seem to believe that psychological therapy is of...
Read MoreOdd Behavior Does Not Always Need Psychological Diagnosis
Posted on 12/13/2022
When America’s mental health industry sees the opportunity to broaden its influence, they pounce. If said opportunity presents itself in the form of odd behavior on the part of certain children,...
Read MoreDrama-Free Bedtime
Posted on 11/29/2022
Q: Several months ago, my husband and I allowed our five-year-old daughter to sleep with us for a couple of nights. We thought this was innocent, but she began crying hysterically when we...
Read MoreThe Cult of 'Gentle Parenting'
Posted on 11/22/2022
This is the Age of the Parenting Cult, the latest iteration of which is so-called “gentle parenting.” GP is the latest attempt by America’s mental health industry to persuade moms (today’s all-too...
Read MoreHelp Son Learn to Give and Take In Conversation
Posted on 11/15/2022
Q: My just-turned four-year-old repeats things he has heard or has said before. For example, even though my brother’s family moved away nearly two years ago, whenever we drive by their...
Read MorePlaying Well With Toddlers
Posted on 11/8/2022
Q: I have two boys, 18 and 33 months. How much time each day should I spend involved in activities with them? Also, they chase one another around the house and other sorts of...
Read MoreThe Problem With Pull-Ups
Posted on 11/1/2022
I finally tracked down the fellow who invented the so-called “pull-up.” His name is Lucapher (Big Lou) Saytan. Reputedly, Mr. Saytan lives in an underground bunker from which he develops and...
Read MoreSchool Principal Asks About Discipline
Posted on 10/25/2022
Q: I am a principal at a private church-affiliated school. Contrary to my graduate school training and most of my peers’ practice, I believe disciplinary actions should "fit the crime."...
Read MoreThe Importance of Manners
Posted on 10/18/2022
One of the characteristics of a truly civilized society is the ubiquitous use of proper social courtesies. Raising a child is all about civilizing the savage within; therefore, “manners,” as they...
Read MoreAlternatives to the High Five
Posted on 10/11/2022
Well, I must say I'm rather, uh, disappointed albeit my worst suspicions have been verified. I expected response to my recent column on the practice of high-fiving children, but I failed to...
Read More‘Gentle Parenting’ Appeals to Emotion, Not Reason
Posted on 10/4/2022
Q: My husband and I recently visited our son’s family. We live two thousand miles apart and with the pandemic and all, hadn’t seen one another in several years. We were appalled to...
Read MoreStop High-Fiving Kids
Posted on 9/27/2022
Arrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhh! Will you please just stop doing that, please? Every time I see it, I want to scream, and I’m not an emotionally hyperactive person. I’m talking about adults high-fiving...
Read MoreLeadership vs Discipline
Posted on 9/20/2022
A mother recently asked my advice concerning a discipline problem she was having with one of her children. I asked her to define the word discipline. She thought a moment and answered, “Well,...
Read MoreWhen It Comes to Your Child’s Education, You Know Better Than Them
Posted on 9/14/2022
Q: I have homeschooled my seventh-grade daughter on and off through elementary school. This school year, I began homeschooling her, but she’s now telling me she wants to go to “real”...
Read MoreHomeschool Discipline Problems
Posted on 9/6/2022
Q: Ever since toddlerhood, we have had significant behavior problems with our 6-year-old son—defiance and general disrespect, mostly. We have tried various disciplinary approaches with...
Read MoreChild Mental Health Therapy: Any Proof It Does Any Good?
Posted on 8/30/2022
In a 6 – 3 decision, the Killingly, CT, school board recently said “no” to establishing a mental health center at its high school. I imagine most folks, upon hearing that, would be dismayed,...
Read More'Parenting' vs. Child-Rearing
Posted on 8/23/2022
“The goal of parenting is not to control, coerce or punish children into being ‘good.’ The goal of parenting is to grow children who can feel all of their feelings and become empathic...
Read MoreA 3-Point Plan to Get Kids to Do Their Own Homework
Posted on 8/16/2022
Q: The school our 10-year-old daughter attends believes parents should micromanage homework sessions – they call it “being a homework buddy.” As a consequence, our daughter believes we...
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