John's Articles
16-Year-Old Boy Should Shoulder Responsibility
Posted on 5/17/2011
Teen should pay for rejected glasses Q: My 16-year-old son refuses to wear his glasses. For the past two years, I have offered to get him contact lenses for his birthday, but he has refused. He...
Read More16-Year-Old Boy Disrespecting Parents
Posted on 5/17/2011
Behind their backs Q: Our 16-year-old son is respectful to our faces. He does what he is told and is generally a good kid. On a number of occasions, I have overheard him speaking with his...
Read MoreTeen-age Boys Restrictions
Posted on 5/17/2011
Easing restrictions Q: Because of some grade problems, our two teenage boys were told to stay on campus for lunch in order to catch up on their studying. We found a suspicious receipt, so we...
Read More19-Year-Old Girl Dating Sarcastic Boyfriend
Posted on 3/15/2011
Is it verbal abuse or just snide humor? It appears that a recent column of mine had an effect similar to a Rorschach inkblot: People read their own personal experiences and/or biases into it...
Read More15-Year-Old Boy's Grades Dropping
Posted on 3/8/2011
Hold fast to restrictions on slacker son Q. Our son, a 15-year-old high school sophomore, was an honor student until he got to high school and took up with kids who think good grades are...
Read MoreCharlie Babbit's father was right as rain, man
Posted on 3/8/2011
In one of the more paradoxical scenes from the movie Rain Main, Charlie Babbitt, the character played by Tom Cruise, tells his girlfriend the presumably poignant story of how a dispute over a car...
Read More19-Year-Old Girl Dating Negative Boyfriend
Posted on 3/1/2011
Boyfriend just needs to grow up Q. Our 19-year-old daughter is dating a 19-year-old, who, in general, we like. He's not a partier, he's serious about his education, etc. The problem is that his...
Read More16-Year-Old Girl Lying
Posted on 12/28/2010
Q. We allow our almost 16-year-old daughter to text on weekends if her grades through the week have been good. She knows I read almost all of what she writes. It disturbs me that she's telling...
Read More16-Year-Old Boy Delusional Plans
Posted on 12/14/2010
Sometimes a kid has to dream Q: Our 16-year-old son is talking of going to a local community college after high school and living with one of his friends. He says he needs to find a job soon so...
Read MorePreteen Boy Melancholy Issue
Posted on 11/9/2010
Parents can't 'fix' disposition One of the defining beliefs of this technological age is that with enough ingenuity and perseverance, any problem can be solved. It's a misbelief, actually,...
Read More13-Year-Old Girl Making Bad Decisions
Posted on 6/22/2010
Do right, even when kids do wrong A headstrong teen's bad decisions can test parents' resolve and confidence. Q: Our 13-year-old daughter recently told us that she wants to be like everyone...
Read More17-Year-Old Boy Underachiever
Posted on 2/9/2010
Getting back on track Q. Our 17-year-old is a perennial underachiever. He's had up and down grades all through school. Other than this one problem, he's a great kid - respectful, sensitive,...
Read More18-Year-Old Girl's Body Piercing
Posted on 1/19/2010
LEARN TO PICK YOUR BATTLES TO WIN TEEN WAR I'm painfully aware that because I have a deserved reputation for taking a "no nonsense" approach to discipline, I am generally expected to always...
Read More15-Year-Old Boy to Drop Out of School and Join Military
Posted on 11/24/2009
Corrections: The following correction appeared after this story was published: A recent column in which I advised the parents of a teen to let him drop out of high school, get his GED, and join...
Read More16-Year-Old Driving Privilege
Posted on 11/10/2009
TEENS, CARS, DRIVER'S LICENSES - A RECIPE FOR DISASTER, PAIN My oldest grandson, not yet 15, is taking driver's education. In fact, he's already been behind the wheel with his instructor, on an...
Read More13-Year-Old Girl Obsessed with Boys Needs Male Role Model
Posted on 10/27/2009
GIRLS NEED POSITIVE MALE ATTENTION IN LIVES Q. My 13-year- old daughter seems obsessed with boys. She will talk to a boy on the phone one time and then tell me that he's her new boyfriend....
Read More16-Year-Old Boy Cursing
Posted on 8/18/2009
HOW TO CURB 16-YEAR-OLD'S CURSING Q: My 16-year- old son has started using curse words in our home. What's the best way to deal with this? A. I would imagine that a youngster who has never...
Read More12-Year-Old Boy Girlfriend Advice
Posted on 7/28/2009
DON'T HOUND PRETEEN SON OVER PUPPY LOVE Q.Our 12-year- old son likes a girl who is in the same grade. We told him it's okay to like a girl and have a pleasant conversation with her in a group...
Read MoreTeen Drivers
Posted on 6/16/2009
STICKER MAY BE BIGGER HAZARD THAN TEEN DRIVER The legislature and governor of New Jersey have lost their collective common sense, which is to say they are politicians. The former passed and the...
Read MoreChildren and Cell Phones
Posted on 6/9/2009
*The Inverse Relationship Between Parent Backbones and Child Cell Phones: The other day, someone wrote and asked me when a child should receive a cell phone. My answer: "When the child is able...
Read MoreParents' Hard-Line Stance Will Serve Their Sons Well
Posted on 12/9/2008
PARENTS' HARD-LINE STANCE WILL SERVE THEIR SONS WELL Every so often, and usually just as I am about to resign myself to the folly of postmodern parenting, I run across a story involving parents...
Read More16-Year-Old Girl Tells Younger Siblings What To Do
Posted on 9/9/2008
TRY HUMOR TO DISCOURAGE KIDS' DRAMA Q. Our 16-year-old daughter constantly tells her younger siblings what to do and how to do it, and that the way they do things isn't good enough. It creates...
Read More13-Year-Old Girl Disappointed with Dad
Posted on 8/12/2008
DAUGHTER'S DISAPPOINTED WITH DAD Q. My 13-year-old daughter's father is irresponsible. He frequently cancels visits and is often obviously lying about the reasons. Nonetheless, I've told her...
Read More14-Year-Old Girl's Inappropriate Clothing
Posted on 7/22/2008
TEEN'S TARTY CLOTHES Q: I have legal custody of my 14-year-old granddaughter. Her mother is in no position to deal with a child. She frequently criticizes my values and attempts to undermine my...
Read More13-Year-Old Boy Summer Boredom
Posted on 7/15/2008
SUMMER DOLDRUMS Q: I don't allow my 13-year-old son to watch TV or play computer/video games during the summer. Outside of the occasional thing done with a friend, he doesn't seem to have any...
Read More12-Year-Old Boy Unmotivated
Posted on 4/29/2008
PARENTS OBSESS OVER SO-CALLED FLAWS Today's parents tend to believe that behavior, any behavior, can be modified by properly manipulating reward and punishment. That was in fact the utopian...
Read MoreHIgh School Girl Blame Game
Posted on 4/8/2008
A LITTLE HUMOR WILL BURST TEENAGER'S INFLATED EGO Q. Our daughter has average ability but a better than average view of herself. She's in high school and her self-esteem is getting in the way...
Read MoreTeenage Girl Sneaks Out of the House and is Disrespectful
Posted on 4/1/2008
Q. Do you believe in sending children to military school? Our young teenage daughter has twice snuck out of the house in the middle of the night. We are shocked and hurt by her lack of respect for...
Read More18-Year-Old Boy Defiant
Posted on 3/11/2008
Defiant 18-year-old Q. We have a son who just turned 18 (but is still a junior in high school) and a 14-year-old freshman daughter. While my husband and I were away, our son went to visit his...
Read MoreHigh School Girl's Dropping Grades and Attitude
Posted on 3/4/2008
PARENTS SHARE THEIR 3 STORIES OF 'TOUGH LOVE' TURNAROUNDS It's one thing to give advice on the rearing of children, which is what I do through this column. It's quite another to share...
Read More17-Year-Old Boy Wants to Skip College
Posted on 1/29/2008
17-YEAR-OLD WANTS TO SKIP COLLEGE Q. Our 17-year-old son doesn't want to go to college because he hates school, says nothing interests him, and that going would be a waste of our money. He...
Read MoreSchool Uniforms Restrict Kids Choices
Posted on 8/14/2007
SCHOOL UNIFORMS RESTRICT KIDS' CHOICES (THAT'S A GOOD THING) Whenever I hear parents arguing for their children's "right of expression," I can't help but suspect that these are parents who...
Read More17-Year-Old Does Not Want To Go To College
Posted on 6/26/2007
HELP! OUR 17-YEAR-OLD SAYS HE DOESN'T WANT TO GO TO COLLEGE Q: Our 17-year-old son just graduated from high school and doesn't want to go to college. I think he should get a job and take...
Read More15-Year-Old with Moody, Negative Attitude
Posted on 6/12/2007
NO SUCH THING AS A PROBLEM-FREE CHILD It is not the responsibility of parents to make sure that a child enters adulthood problem-free. That is an impossible dream, yet it seems many parents...
Read MoreAre All Teens Crazy?
Posted on 2/27/2007
Are teenagers basically nuts? Michael J. Bradley thinks so. An educational psychologist and therapist, Bradley's the author of "Yes, Your Teen is Crazy! Loving Your Kid Without Losing Your Mind."...
Read MoreHigh School Boy Likes Playing with Younger Kids
Posted on 10/31/2006
Young playmates Q: Our son, a high school sophomore, continues to play with neighborhood kids that are still in elementary school despite us asking him to hang with kids more his age. We have...
Read MoreTeen Wants to Live with Dad
Posted on 10/10/2006
TEENAGER WANTS TO GO LIVE WITH DAD Q: I have joint custody of my son who has threatened that when he turns 14 he is going to go live with his father, who's been encouraging this. My husband and...
Read More17-Year-Old Dating Issue
Posted on 7/25/2006
SON MAY BE INDISCREET, BUT HE DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE PUNISHED Q: My 17-year-old son came home with a large red hickey on his neck, presumably given to him by his girlfriend. I'm inclined to...
Read More18-Year-Old Wants to Drive Across USA
Posted on 6/13/2006
Females face more dangers Q: Our 18-year-old daughter, who just graduated from high school, has announced that she and two of her girlfriends want to drive across the United States and back...
Read MoreTeenage Articles: Co-Ed Slumber Party and Teenage Research
Posted on 4/4/2006
A 'SUPERVISED' CO-ED TEENAGE SLUMBER PARTY? VERY STUPID IDEA A journalist recently asked me to name some of the dumbest things I've heard concerning teenagers and their parents. I immediately...
Read MoreIt's Never Too Late to Teach the Three R's
Posted on 3/17/2006
In order for a child to become successful at the three R's of reading, 'riting, and 'rithmetic, their parents must first teach them the three R's of respect, responsibility, and...
Read More14-Year-Old Hanging Out with Older Boys
Posted on 2/14/2006
SINCE SON'S OLDER PALS ARE GOOD BOYS, DON'T FRET Q: Our 14-year-old son looks at least two years older and is more mature in many ways than most boys his age. He recently started hanging around...
Read MoreTracking Devices and Child's Right to Privacy
Posted on 11/22/2005
TEENS' SAFETY SHOULD ALWAYS TRUMP PRIVACY Have you heard the news? New-generation high-tech devices will allow you to track your kids' movements, what they are eating, and even whether or...
Read MoreAmerican Parenting is Producing Children, not Adults
Posted on 10/4/2005
WHEN CHILDHOOD GOES ON TOO LONG A fellow who is unhappy with my point of view recently wrote a letter to John K. Rosemond which closed with "After all, it takes 18 to 20 years to 'grow a...
Read More11- and 14-Year-Old Computer Use
Posted on 9/13/2005
SUPERVISE CHILDREN'S INTERNET USE ESTABLISH FIRM GUIDELINES, AND THAT SHOULD INCLUDE LOOKING AT THEIR E-MAILS Q: My husband and I have allowed our 14-year-old daughter and 11-year-old son...
Read MoreCo-Ed Teen Sleepovers
Posted on 9/6/2005
2 FREQUENT QUESTIONS ON TEENS I've received a good number of inquiries of late concerning two subjects of interest to parents of teens. One is: "What do you think about co-ed...
Read MoreBuying a Car for a 16-Year-Old
Posted on 9/6/2005
The other popular subject: "Should I buy a car for my 16-year-old?" In the hands of a teenager, a car is a potential weapon. The only teens who should be allowed to put the lives of others at...
Read MoreShould 15-Year-Old Try Alcohol at Home?
Posted on 6/28/2005
SHOULD WE LET OUR 15-YEAR-OLD TRY ALCOHOL AT HOME? Q: I have a very interesting problem and I am not sure how to handle it. My 15-year-old honor student, an all-around good kid, recently...
Read More19-Year-Old with Older Boyfriend
Posted on 6/28/2005
35-year-old boyfriend Q: Last year, our 19-year-old daughter became involved with a 35-year-old man who is divorced and has young children. We think he's very manipulative and is taking...
Read MoreDefiant 14-Year-Old
Posted on 5/10/2005
TEEN'S DEFIANCE NOT A REASON TO LIGHTEN TASTE OF REAL WORLD Q: The punishments I give my 14-year-old daughter - mostly for blatant defiance of the rules - seem to make her even more defiant....
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