John's Articles
Co-Sleeping Is Detrimental to Marriage
Posted on 9/11/2019
A New York writer named Jonathan Daniel Stern, writing in the August 7, 2019, issue of the e-zine “Fatherly,” laments that co-sleeping has destroyed his marriage. As best as I can figure, Stern...
Read MoreMethylphenidates for ADHD Affect Brain Function
Posted on 8/27/2019
I’ve always promised myself that this column would never get “academic,” but I see no choice with respect to the issue at hand, so here goes…as simple as I can make it. ...
Read MoreLoving Parents Who Set Boundaries Best for Adopted Kids
Posted on 8/21/2019
Q: A Christian (but very liberal) adoption agency recently turned down our application because they disapprove of our parenting approach, which is your parenting approach. We told them we...
Read MoreToday's Parents Afraid Kids Won't Like Them
Posted on 8/13/2019
Short questions I’ve been asked of late (mostly by journalists) and proportionately short answers: Q: Is there a single most important thing parents should be teaching during their children’s...
Read MoreAlpha Speech: Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say
Posted on 8/6/2019
Q: Some friends of ours who’ve read a couple of your books and attended one of your talks told us that they solved some major discipline problems with their 4-year-old just by using what they...
Read MoreTeach Child to Gain Control of Feelings
Posted on 7/30/2019
As I crisscross the country in public speaker mode, I poll people in various demographic categories. I ask how they were raised, what their parents were like, how their parents disciplined, how...
Read MoreAutism in Its Classical Form Is Very Real
Posted on 7/9/2019
I am perennially asked whether I do or do not “believe” in autism. I suspect that on most occasions, it’s a test. Nonetheless, it’s a fair question that usually takes this form: “I know you don’t...
Read MoreThe Most Powerful Love Is Tough Love
Posted on 7/2/2019
Q: On several occasions over the last six months or so, our 12-year-old son has told us he’s been thinking about suicide. Apparently, he’s been the target of a couple of school bullies and...
Read MoreFamily Is Family, No Matter the Prefix
Posted on 6/25/2019
Q: We have two married daughters, one of whom is adopted. The biological daughter has two children who, we recently discovered, have been told that it is wrong to call our adopted daughter “aunt...
Read MoreThe Definition of Bullying Has Been 'Dumbed Down'
Posted on 6/18/2019
Q: Our son is 13 years old and in the 7th grade. Last week he came home from school complaining about how a few of his friends have been bullying him. These same boys were at his birthday party...
Read MoreFathers as Important to Parenting as Mothers
Posted on 6/9/2019
I am the father to two grown children, so I know a few things about fatherhood. I know, for instance, that fathers are just as important as mothers to the raising of children. I also know fathers...
Read MoreScience Doesn't Have All the Answers When It Comes to Raising Children
Posted on 5/28/2019
Q: I appreciate your traditional, call it old-fashioned approach to child rearing, but I’m a tad confused and hope you can help straighten out my thinking. I’ve been reading your column for maybe...
Read MoreWe're Living in a Child's World
Posted on 5/21/2019
Concerning major behavior problems, parents often tell me they’ve “tried everything.” In more than forty years of doing this “parenting expert” gig, I’ve never run across a parent who was telling...
Read MoreUse 'Alpha Speech' to Get Child to Obey
Posted on 5/14/2019
Q: My 7-year-old son, an only child, is giving me fits. He’s overly active and will not cooperate in any instruction I give him. In addition, if I tell him not to do something, it’s a guarantee...
Read MoreGrandparents Are the Glue That Bonds the Family
Posted on 5/7/2019
“When are you going to write a book on grandparenting?” is a question asked of me by lots of folks, most of whom – no surprise here – are grandparents. My stock answer: “I...
Read MoreFreedom Lost on the Children of Today
Posted on 4/30/2019
My wife and I spent two days in my hometown of Charleston, South Carolina, recently. As we always do, we walked around my boyhood neighborhood – the South-of-Broad historic district (back then,...
Read MoreChild Raising vs Parenting
Posted on 4/23/2019
There is child raising and there is “parenting.” America replaced the former with the latter in the 1970s and it’s been downhill ever since. My mother – a single parent during...
Read MoreParenting in an Age of Technology: Video Game Addiction
Posted on 4/16/2019
Julie Jargon is a reporter with the Wall Street Journal. Heretofore, she has written about food companies like Starbucks and McDonalds. As of April 2, however, Ms. Jargon is writing a WSJ column...
Read MoreKey to Effective Discipline Is Right Attitude
Posted on 4/9/2019
“We’ve tried everything!” is one of the more common testimonials I hear from parents who’ve just described persistent and highly vexing discipline problems with a child or children. ...
Read MoreConfronting 'Biochemical Imbalance' in Children
Posted on 4/2/2019
The Wall Street Journal recently (3/16/2019) printed a letter-to-the-editor in which Upland, California psychiatrist/psychoanalyst Charlene Moskovitz promotes the alleged benefits of medication...
Read MoreOn Attachment Parenting
Posted on 3/19/2019
“So, what do you think of attachment parenting? My inquisitor was a 30-something mom. I sensed she was testing me, trying to determine whether I was worth her time. “Not...
Read MoreYou Can't Win 'Em All
Posted on 3/5/2019
I’ve been writing this column for forty-three years and speaking publicly for nearly as long. If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that when it comes to my subject matter, you can’t win ‘em...
Read MoreParenting Should Not Be About Instant Gratification
Posted on 2/24/2019
A friend of mine named Scott shared an absolutely brilliant thought with me when I dropped in on him unannounced at his workplace, a bank, the other day. Everyone thinks all I...
Read MoreA Look at the Biggest Mistakes Parents Make
Posted on 2/18/2019
A journalist recently asked me for the single biggest mistake being made by today’s parents. I was tempted to say, “Having children,” but stopped myself because even if I’d followed up with “Just...
Read MoreOut With 'Parenting,' in With Child-Rearing
Posted on 1/29/2019
There is “parenting” and then there is bringing up, rearing, or raising children. The difference is night and day; so are the outcomes, short- and long-term, to all concerned, meaning every single...
Read MoreThe Children-Need-Lots-Of-Attention Myth
Posted on 1/22/2019
One of the more difficult facts for today’s parents, as a rule, to wrap their heads around is the…I’ll say it again, with emphasis…FACT that children do not need (as a general rule) a lot of...
Read MoreWhat Should Grandparents Do When Children Won’t Listen to Good Advice?
Posted on 1/16/2019
Q: We have ten grandchildren, spread between three of our kids. They all live within an hour’s drive, so we see them often. We want to be involved in their lives and to be good influences. Our...
Read MoreFeelings: To Express or Not to Express?
Posted on 1/2/2019
Feelings are a wild card. On the one hand, the ability to experience deep emotion is one of the things that defines us as human. On the other, feelings can be and often are destructive to...
Read MoreSeparating Feelings From Facts
Posted on 12/25/2018
Rosemond’s Pithy Philosophical Snippet of the Week: Crazy is believing that feelings – yours and other’s – define and should therefore govern external reality. It is one thing...
Read MoreParenting of the Past Is Better Than Today
Posted on 12/19/2018
A Wisconsin pediatrician wants his newspaper to eject my column, giving as one of his complaints that I hew “to the idea that the world of the 1950s was the be-all and end-all of...
Read MoreOne Reason Why Marriages Go Bad: Postnatal Marital Amnesia
Posted on 12/12/2018
Just about every marriage has its share of bad times; then again, some marriages simply go bad. The reasons for the latter include abuse, adultery, alcoholism (and other forms of chemical...
Read MoreThe AAP on Discipline
Posted on 11/20/2018
The prestigious American Academy of Pediatrics has just released (November 2018) a policy statement claiming that "Aversive disciplinary strategies, including all forms of corporal punishment and...
Read MorePublic Schools in Decline Thanks to Discipline Fads
Posted on 11/13/2018
For the record, I believe in the concept of public (aka, taxpayer-funded, government, “free”) schools. I attended public schools and obtained an excellent education that challenged my intellect...
Read MoreGo Ahead and Send Kids Outside
Posted on 11/11/2018
Several years ago, I wrote that my mother's favorite after-school activity for me was "go outside and find something to do." I said it was then, and still is, the most valuable way a child can...
Read MoreThere’s Something Happening Here …
Posted on 11/7/2018
One of my favorite rock songs of all time (“Hello, I’m John, and I’m a rock ‘n’ roll addict”) is “For What It’s Worth,” written by Stephen Stills and originally recorded by Buffalo Springfield. It...
Read MoreFoundation to Parenting Begins With Marriage
Posted on 10/31/2018
In an opinion piece recently featured on FoxNews.com, Jonathan Pokluda explicates his Ten Habits of Extraordinary Parents. Pokluda, a teaching pastor at a mega-church in Texas, and his wife are in...
Read MoreDeterminism Muddies Parental Judgement
Posted on 10/24/2018
As the current school year kicked off, I began hearing the same-old, same-old report from teachers and principals: children who have never lied. At least, that is what the parents of said children...
Read MoreThe Realities of Parenting
Posted on 10/10/2018
PARENTING REALITY, PART ONE: It is all but inevitable that after rattling off a list of provocative, sociopathic stuff his or her child is doing and usually has been doing for quite some time, a...
Read MoreMore Musings Over Morning Coffee
Posted on 10/2/2018
More musings over morning coffee: FROM THE TRUTH VS. “YOUR TRUTH” DEPARTMENT: The former is grounded in verifiable facts; the latter is the deceptive product of emotion. The...
Read MoreA Few Thoughts Over Morning Coffee
Posted on 9/18/2018
A few thoughts over morning coffee… From the Feedback Department: Certain recent columns of mine have drawn a spike in reader responses, both pro and con. My comments on the...
Read MoreThe Problem of Parent-Child Codependency
Posted on 8/22/2018
An early childhood educator of thirty-eight years standing left a message asking if I had advice for encouraging cooperation from parents. She reports what every veteran teacher (defined as having...
Read MorePutting Child First Can Ruin Marriage
Posted on 8/8/2018
Q: I am stepfather to my wife’s only child, age 8, from her first marriage. My wife always and in every way puts her son before our marriage. We went through counseling several years ago and...
Read MoreFriendship Isn't a Vital Aspect of Parenthood
Posted on 8/1/2018
When Baby Boomers get together we often talk about our observations of parenting in these postmodern times, one of which is that today’s parents seem, as a rule, to want to be liked by their...
Read MoreKids Acting Up? Relax, It's Normal
Posted on 7/24/2018
Most of the stuff today's parents worry about - and let's face facts...the worrier in question, the worrier supreme, is almost always the mother (not because of some weakness, but simply because...
Read MoreLet’s Revisit ‘Psychological Thinking’
Posted on 7/17/2018
I call it “psychological thinking,” referring to the tendency among parents of the last fifty years or so to attribute bad behavior on the part of a child to so-called “issues” that are thought to...
Read MoreHappy Campers: Why Summer Camps Are Good for Children
Posted on 7/17/2018
If your child isn't attending an organized camping program this summer, he or she may be missing out on opportunities for growth in a several areas. There are now more than 16,000 day and...
Read MoreAdults, Children Must Maintain Relationship Boundaries
Posted on 6/20/2018
A column of mine that originally appeared in January of 2017 has been circulating on the Internet ever since, accumulating over a million hits to date. In a nutshell, its message is simply that...
Read MoreRespect for Adults Is Good for Kids' Mental Health
Posted on 6/6/2018
Rates of child and teen depression and suicide continue to rise, as they have for fifty years. As regular readers of this column know, I do not agree in the least with current explanations, much...
Read MoreChildren's Hearts Rule Their Heads
Posted on 5/16/2018
When I was in college and grad school, other students – mostly the “jock” and fraternity crowds – called me all sorts of names because, being the lead singer in a popular campus rock band, I...
Read MoreWe Have a Child, Teen Mental Health Crisis in U.S.
Posted on 4/11/2018
Do we – here in the USA, that is – or do we not have a child and teen mental health crisis and if the answer is yes, we do, then what should be done about it? Without doubt, the...
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