John's Articles
Teen Will Not Brush Teeth
Posted on 4/29/2014
Q: My 14-year-old son does not brush his teeth, except during the week before going to the dentist. He doesn't have any cavities, his breath is fine, his check-ups at the dentist are at the...
Read MoreVideo Games - Again!
Posted on 4/8/2014
Q: Our 14-year-old son seems depressed-to us, at least. His principal sees no sign of depression but thinks he's socially anxious. The subjects of counseling and medication have come up. We have...
Read MoreBe the Parent Your Child Needs
Posted on 4/1/2014
Q: My 14-year-old daughter says I don't trust her because unlike her best friend's parents, I won't allow her to stay home alone for several days while I go out of town. Her friend's parents do...
Read MoreKeep a Sharp Eye on Electronics
Posted on 1/28/2014
Q: Our 13-year-old son has had an iPod for the last 3 years. We've always made use of the parental restrictions to make sure that he could only access "clean" music, movies, and websites. When I...
Read MoreTeen Son's Problems Related to Video Games
Posted on 12/17/2013
Q: Over the past year, the relationship between our 14-year-old son and his sisters has deteriorated markedly and is causing major problems in our family. He won't speak to them and says he hates...
Read MoreTheir Biology Makes Them Do It!
Posted on 10/22/2013
The "their biology makes them do it!" hypothesis concerning the oft-horrid behavior of today's teens keeps on rolling along, charming parents of said teens into the comforting belief that...
Read MoreKicking Out of the Garden of Eden [Explained]
Posted on 10/6/2013
Kicking the child out of the Garden of Eden John's "Garden of Eden" statement: Other Q and A or articles about this method may be searched by using the keyword "Garden" Below is detailed...
Read MoreBenefit of the Doubt
Posted on 9/3/2013
The statute of limitations has expired concerning the following tale, so I can finally tell it. In October of my now 40-something year-old son Eric's seventh-grade year, he informed me...
Read MoreElectronic Media: From Bad to Worse
Posted on 8/21/2012
Q: Our 13-year-old daughter has been mature for her age from early on. She takes advanced classes and makes straight A's. She's also very talented musically. We think, however, that she has become...
Read MoreLeave the Homework to the Child
Posted on 8/23/2011
<i>As the new school year begins, it's time for me, once again, to make my perennial case against parental involvement in homework.</i> First, it is significant to note that as...
Read MoreCell Phones and Texting
Posted on 3/29/2011
Teach teens cellphone manners A reader asks if I have ever written a column on texting while eating in restaurants. She writes: "Recently my husband and I observed a small group at a table near...
Read More15-Year-Old Boy's Grades Dropping
Posted on 3/8/2011
Hold fast to restrictions on slacker son Q. Our son, a 15-year-old high school sophomore, was an honor student until he got to high school and took up with kids who think good grades are...
Read MoreKids Hitting Parents
Posted on 2/22/2011
A hidden abuse problem: Kids who assault parents One of the more heartbreaking consequences of the "psychological" parenting philosophy and style that American parents began adopting in the...
Read MoreYounger Children Playing Poker with Older Child
Posted on 7/13/2010
Dealing with poker Q: What do you think about a 13-year-old child playing poker with my kids, ages 8 and 9? Even though they weren't using money, I didn't think it was age-appropriate, so I...
Read More13-Year-Old Girl Making Bad Decisions
Posted on 6/22/2010
Do right, even when kids do wrong A headstrong teen's bad decisions can test parents' resolve and confidence. Q: Our 13-year-old daughter recently told us that she wants to be like everyone...
Read More13-Year-Old Boy Wets the Bed
Posted on 2/23/2010
Bed-wetting calls for checkup Q. My 13-year-old son still wets the bed, and I'm considering a bed-wetting alarm. Should I get a "pad" type or one that attaches to his underwear? A. At this...
Read More15-Year-Old Boy to Drop Out of School and Join Military
Posted on 11/24/2009
Corrections: The following correction appeared after this story was published: A recent column in which I advised the parents of a teen to let him drop out of high school, get his GED, and join...
Read More13-Year-Old Girl Obsessed with Boys Needs Male Role Model
Posted on 10/27/2009
GIRLS NEED POSITIVE MALE ATTENTION IN LIVES Q. My 13-year- old daughter seems obsessed with boys. She will talk to a boy on the phone one time and then tell me that he's her new boyfriend....
Read MoreMom Disciplines 15-Year-Old Daughter, But Ex Does Not Follow Through
Posted on 10/13/2009
MOM DISCIPLINES DAUGHTER, THEN DIVORCED DAD IGNORES IT Q. My 15-year-old daughter's grades have dropped this year, and I have taken away most of her privileges. But she spends a few nights a...
Read More15-Year-Old Girl Bullying Her Younger Brother
Posted on 7/7/2009
SEND GIRL TO BULLYING REHAB Q. Whenever our 11-year-old son has a friend over to play, our 15-year-old daughter interferes in ways that eventually reduce our son to tears. Mostly, she'll make...
Read MoreParents' Hard-Line Stance Will Serve Their Sons Well
Posted on 12/9/2008
PARENTS' HARD-LINE STANCE WILL SERVE THEIR SONS WELL Every so often, and usually just as I am about to resign myself to the folly of postmodern parenting, I run across a story involving parents...
Read MoreGive Older Children Some Freedom
Posted on 10/21/2008
GIVE OLDER CHILDREN SOME FREEDOM TO ROAM From the time I was 12, my parents would let me walk from our house in Westchester, Ill., to the bus stop five blocks away, catch a bus to the...
Read More13-Year-Old Girl Disappointed with Dad
Posted on 8/12/2008
DAUGHTER'S DISAPPOINTED WITH DAD Q. My 13-year-old daughter's father is irresponsible. He frequently cancels visits and is often obviously lying about the reasons. Nonetheless, I've told her...
Read More14-Year-Old Girl's Inappropriate Clothing
Posted on 7/22/2008
TEEN'S TARTY CLOTHES Q: I have legal custody of my 14-year-old granddaughter. Her mother is in no position to deal with a child. She frequently criticizes my values and attempts to undermine my...
Read More13-Year-Old Boy Summer Boredom
Posted on 7/15/2008
SUMMER DOLDRUMS Q: I don't allow my 13-year-old son to watch TV or play computer/video games during the summer. Outside of the occasional thing done with a friend, he doesn't seem to have any...
Read MoreTeenage Girl Sneaks Out of the House and is Disrespectful
Posted on 4/1/2008
Q. Do you believe in sending children to military school? Our young teenage daughter has twice snuck out of the house in the middle of the night. We are shocked and hurt by her lack of respect for...
Read MoreModesty With Teen Girls
Posted on 1/1/2008
Scene: The 2008 RALPH Awards, held at a highly secret location somewhere in the Northern Hemisphere. On stage, at the brightly-lit podium, bathed in a glow befitting of their celebrity, stand two...
Read More13 - Year - Old - Girl - Micromanaging Bedtime
Posted on 12/4/2007
TEEN RESISTING SCHEDULED BEDTIME Q. We enforce a 10 p.m. bedtime for our 13-year-old. She has to go to bed one minute earlier the next night for every minute she is to bed later than 10 the...
Read MoreSchool Uniforms Restrict Kids Choices
Posted on 8/14/2007
SCHOOL UNIFORMS RESTRICT KIDS' CHOICES (THAT'S A GOOD THING) Whenever I hear parents arguing for their children's "right of expression," I can't help but suspect that these are parents who...
Read More15-Year-Old with Moody, Negative Attitude
Posted on 6/12/2007
NO SUCH THING AS A PROBLEM-FREE CHILD It is not the responsibility of parents to make sure that a child enters adulthood problem-free. That is an impossible dream, yet it seems many parents...
Read MoreAre All Teens Crazy?
Posted on 2/27/2007
Are teenagers basically nuts? Michael J. Bradley thinks so. An educational psychologist and therapist, Bradley's the author of "Yes, Your Teen is Crazy! Loving Your Kid Without Losing Your Mind."...
Read More8th Grader - Defiant, School Issues, and Video Games
Posted on 2/13/2007
THROW AWAY THE XBOX, AND YOU'LL CHANGE SON'S ATTITUDE Q:Our eighth-grade son is obviously intelligent, and is in his school's gifted and talented program. Furthermore, he scored in the top 5...
Read MoreHigh School Boy Likes Playing with Younger Kids
Posted on 10/31/2006
Young playmates Q: Our son, a high school sophomore, continues to play with neighborhood kids that are still in elementary school despite us asking him to hang with kids more his age. We have...
Read MoreTeen Wants to Live with Dad
Posted on 10/10/2006
TEENAGER WANTS TO GO LIVE WITH DAD Q: I have joint custody of my son who has threatened that when he turns 14 he is going to go live with his father, who's been encouraging this. My husband and...
Read MoreTeenage Articles: Co-Ed Slumber Party and Teenage Research
Posted on 4/4/2006
A 'SUPERVISED' CO-ED TEENAGE SLUMBER PARTY? VERY STUPID IDEA A journalist recently asked me to name some of the dumbest things I've heard concerning teenagers and their parents. I immediately...
Read MoreIt's Never Too Late to Teach the Three R's
Posted on 3/17/2006
In order for a child to become successful at the three R's of reading, 'riting, and 'rithmetic, their parents must first teach them the three R's of respect, responsibility, and...
Read More14-Year-Old Hanging Out with Older Boys
Posted on 2/14/2006
SINCE SON'S OLDER PALS ARE GOOD BOYS, DON'T FRET Q: Our 14-year-old son looks at least two years older and is more mature in many ways than most boys his age. He recently started hanging around...
Read MoreTracking Devices and Child's Right to Privacy
Posted on 11/22/2005
TEENS' SAFETY SHOULD ALWAYS TRUMP PRIVACY Have you heard the news? New-generation high-tech devices will allow you to track your kids' movements, what they are eating, and even whether or...
Read More11- and 14-Year-Old Computer Use
Posted on 9/13/2005
SUPERVISE CHILDREN'S INTERNET USE ESTABLISH FIRM GUIDELINES, AND THAT SHOULD INCLUDE LOOKING AT THEIR E-MAILS Q: My husband and I have allowed our 14-year-old daughter and 11-year-old son...
Read MoreCo-Ed Teen Sleepovers
Posted on 9/6/2005
2 FREQUENT QUESTIONS ON TEENS I've received a good number of inquiries of late concerning two subjects of interest to parents of teens. One is: "What do you think about co-ed...
Read MoreShould 15-Year-Old Try Alcohol at Home?
Posted on 6/28/2005
SHOULD WE LET OUR 15-YEAR-OLD TRY ALCOHOL AT HOME? Q: I have a very interesting problem and I am not sure how to handle it. My 15-year-old honor student, an all-around good kid, recently...
Read MoreDefiant 14-Year-Old
Posted on 5/10/2005
TEEN'S DEFIANCE NOT A REASON TO LIGHTEN TASTE OF REAL WORLD Q: The punishments I give my 14-year-old daughter - mostly for blatant defiance of the rules - seem to make her even more defiant....
Read MoreMom Can't Control How Ex Handles 15-Year-Old's School Issues
Posted on 4/26/2005
MOM CAN'T CONTROL HOW EX-HUSBAND HANDLES SON Q: Two years ago, my husband and I separated after 25 years of marriage. We have a daughter who lives on her own and a 15-year-old son who chose...
Read MoreAdopted Brothers Can Handle the Truth About Older Sibling
Posted on 4/19/2005
ADOPTED TEENS CAN HANDLE TRUTH Q: Thirteen years ago, we adopted two brothers from Eastern Europe. They are now 14 and 16. Last year we were contacted by their older sister, age 24, who is...
Read MoreTeen's Hormones and Unruly Emotions
Posted on 2/1/2005
DON'T BLAME TEENAGERS' HORMONES FOR THEIR UNRULY EMOTIONS Q: During a recent talk show appearance, a psychologist said that runaway hormone levels often cause the rational part of the...
Read More15-Year-Old Buying Inappropriate Clothing
Posted on 12/21/2004
CONFISCATE DAUGHTER'S LOW-CUT TOPS IT'S OK TO VETO ITEMS SHE BUYS WITH ALLOWANCE Q: Our 15-year-old daughter uses her allowance to buy some of her own clothes. She recently purchased some...
Read More15-Year-Old's Socialization and Self-Esteem
Posted on 12/21/2004
Q: My 15-year-old son has low self-esteem and no close friends. I suppose those two things go hand-in-hand. He plays on the school soccer team with daily practices that take place nearly five...
Read More8th Grader Not Doing Well in School
Posted on 8/31/2004
SHOULD GIFTED CHILD GO BACK TO REGULAR SCHOOL? Q: Our daughter is in the eighth grade at a magnet school for gifted and talented students. Over the three years she's been there, her grades have...
Read More15-Year-Old Has Older Friends
Posted on 7/27/2004
DON'T OVERREACT TO SON'S CHOICE OF FRIENDS THE BOYS ARE OLDER, BUT THEY SOUND LIKE THEY'RE GOOD AND RESPONSIBLE Q: Our 15-year-old son looks at least two years older and is more mature in...
Read More14-Year-Old Has Friend Who is Trouble
Posted on 5/18/2004
PUT BALL IN SON'S COURT Q: Our 14-year-old son has been hanging around a friend who is constantly in trouble. Recently this kid and my son were out using their paintball guns, and the "friend"...
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