8 yo general discipline

Question

We have an almost 8 (turns 8 in 10 days) year old boy who is very difficult. He whines and throws fits and is very often just negative. He is super smart, but extremely lazy. He plays well by himself and loves to read. He plays with his twin brother, almost 5 year old sister, and a variety of neighborhood kids. This sometimes goes well. Other times, he will either stand off to the side, run through the middle of everyone and everything making a mess, or whines about what's going on. He's always physically pushing his way to the front or "trying to help" by physically interfering. He tries to show you how to fix something by getting in your face and grabbing without asking. He acts interested in a sport or activity, then shows up and won't participate or just acts super immature and shows no interest in learning, causing problems for other kids, coaches and teachers. He's a complete pest at school and around friends. At school, he lays head on his desk and sucks his finger. He does the minimum to finish a paper, always getting marks from his teacher to "be more detailed." His work is super sloppy from laziness. This kid is so smart and fun to be with and talk to when he just chills out, but that happens so rarely that we really want to help him. Sometimes it seems like he's so "worked up" (anxious or wanting to be in control) that he can't just focus and be himself and enjoy things. Please help!

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