Question
When my 3 year old daughter gets frustrated she will 'lock up' - not speak or express what's wrong. This usually happens instantaneously when we do something that she wants to do but we do it instead (e.g. zip up her coat). We could all be cheery and suddenly she locks up - there is no hostile environment that would make her feel scared to speak up. The things we know she wants to do independently we let her do. Sometimes, however, we'll do something that we didn't know she wanted to do, like open a yogurt and it'll frustrate her. We ask her calmly and nicely to tell us what's wrong but get no response. We even sympathize with her at eye level to communicate our understanding of her frustration. We sometimes ignore her and let her come around. When she starts whining and pouting we tell her that she has to speak to us or we'll give her a timeout. Our intention is to show her that she needs to express herself.
She is in day care and her teachers say she is an excellent student, smart and well behaved.
1. Will this behavior correct itself eventually? Is it just a phase?
2. Are we wrong to give her a time out for not expressing herself and instead resorting to whining?
3. How do we get her to express her frustration?
