Question
My 16 year old son has struggled with learning disabilities throughout his academic career. Despite years of private tutoring, homeschooling, and 4 years at a private school specifically for dyslexics, he has continued to struggle. What he had going for him, is that he would always work his hardest. He never got frustrated, he never refused to work, and he always did his assignments on time. He was organized and independent. For high school, we decided to transition him back to public school in order to take advantage of vocational education opportunities (we realized that this was a more realistic track than the college-prep track he was on). He is a sophomore now & we are watching his grades & motivation plummet! Most of his grades are D's & F's, whats worse is that he doesn't even seem to be aware of how bad his grades are & the severity of the situation.I don't think he will even get accepted to the vocational program at this point.I realize that this is a typical teenage attitude, but I feel like we just can't let him slip right now, too much is at stake. Because of his learning disabilities, I don't think he will have the same opportunities for college/career as his younger brothers. We are not the type of parents to handle things for him, or to e-mail his teachers about everything. We do not micromanage his assignments or closely monitor his grades. We have started meeting with him weekly to check in & help him to set goals for the week. We are trying to teach him how to handle things on his own, but he is just not responding at all! He has lost his cell phone for the quarter, but the grades haven't changed & he don't seem to care. He does have a part-time job, which he does well at & seems to be proud of. He also plays for his schools lacrosse team & this is what makes him happiest. This is something we have threatened to take away if grades don't improve, but we are afraid to do because it is such a positive thing in his life. I should add that he is very shy, not too social, other than being mean to his younger brothers & occasionally disrespectful to us, he is a pretty good kid. My questions are...How do we motivate a kid that doesn't seem to have an internal motivation? What are appropriate consequences for bad grades? Should we get more involved by asking for help from teachers/coaches?
