Different ages playing together

Question

I have a close friend, and our combined 6 kids play together often 1-2x a week at least. Each kid has a partner 2 6 year olds, 1 4 year old (November) 1 3 year old (June bday) two 1 year olds. The challenge is among the four big kids my three-year-old tends to be the odd man out. Some of it I fully admit I think she does to herself, knocks over towers that they are building, messes games up etc. Some of it gets to borderline bullying where the three others are ganging up on her. I want to avoid having to be involved to referee, but also don't want to encourage her into a pattern of being the victim. We have tried talking about different ways to handle the situations on the way over, i've asked her big sister if she can try to work to include and help little sister in these situations. We have done on site time outs, I have left early their home early when we are behaving. Should I back off completely and let them sort themselves or is she too young to be keeping up with the big kids? Ideas?

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