Question
My 2.5 year old has gone from defiant to extremely defiant in the last month or so. I seem not to be able to tackle or settle any problems, before another one and another one comes up!
1) Won't drink from a cup. We started offering water in a cup about 6 months ago, and since then it had been VERY VERY difficult to get him to drink any water at all. Hence we have been putting off changing him from a bottle to a cup to drink milk until now. He usually drinks a full bottle of milk for breakfast and won't eat anything else. I've tried offering breakfast first before milk but he still refuses to eat. about 2 hours later, gets hungry enough to eat something else (bread etc). Anyway since changing to a cup to drink milk, he refuses to drink his breakfast milk and plays with it by dipping his fingers/hands in and splashing the milk all over. Any suggestions for this one?
2) This brings us to the second problem - a hungry toddler - tantrums increase by a fourfold. Mind you, with a full tummy and rest, its still very terrible with tantrums these days. He is very stubborn (much more so than my daughter it seems!). So he will whine over everything - whenever he isn't happy. When placed in the laundry (tantrum room), he will scream as loudly as he possibly can for a very long time. And then when he stops and is let out, he is...
3) Defiant! Especially after he comes out from the laundry room, He shouts no! To any instruction at all, and throws something, or kicks it. When asked to pick things up, get dressed, runs away with a grin. When picked up and asked to stay in a spot, he screams and shouts and hits me, kicks me. Then to the laundry room he goes. This cycle will repeat itself until he gets tired and falls asleep inside on the floor..and by the end of the day, I've just had enough of the constant whining and screaming cycle.
4) Hitting! He hits me and his his sister when he's mad! How do I stop this?
5) Sunday school trouble. He has been troublesome during church service and sunday school. We start off by praise + worship songs downstairs with all the adults, then the children go upstairs for sunday school. He's usually happy crawling about, standing up, sitting down repeatedly in the main hall whilst theres singing. We just try to prevent him from falling off the bench. BUT the moment we require him to sit down or be carried, or do something he doesn't want, he starts pitching an awful screaming tantrum. (sounds like someone is taking off his limb!) To make matters more complicated, my husband and I run the (very small) sunday school in church. Last week, I was supposed to be teaching and my toddler was screaming his head off almost the whole time. (because he was asked to sit down and refused to). He was extremely defiant and refused to do anything he was asked. I was running in and out of the bathroom to contain the tantrums, the other children were getting upset and disturbed by it. My husband had to take over for a bit. When it all calmed a little, the little guy refused to let anyone near him, or touch him or he'd start all over. In essence, I could not get him to do what was he was told. Regarding sunday school, we don't really have anyone else to help take the toddler away or reliably teach or anything. It's a very small, new sunday school with not many parents committed to teach. I'd like him to behave in church. How do I train him to, from home?
How do I start getting my toddler under control...ie do what he was told? It's been so, so difficult around here and he is quite strong-willed and extremely determined to have his way. I need to get him under control. Yes I have read John's books many times!
I have another question - how would a 1950s mother handle this? John mentioned that tantrums and defiance in a 3 year old child was less common then - how did the mothers do it? I know its a broad question - but I do not want to deal with a terrible 3 as well if I did not handle the defiance / tantrums well. Terrible 3s are truly horrible (from experience from my daughter - and I did not handle her tantrums well until age 4+). I don't want to repeat the same mistake.
Please help! I'm at my wits end with this little boy.
