"Don't ask a child a question if you don't mean for the child to have a choice in the matter. "


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Launching that 18 year old.

Posted 2 weeks ago

Our oldest daughter just turned 18 and is soon graduating high school. She's a motivated straight A student, a good kid, & has dreams of college & a career. She is also lovesick & is becoming...

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Half-Hearted 14-year-old student

Posted on 3/16/2017

We have a 14 year old son that is a freshmen in high school. We have been long followers of John Rosemond and have done our best not to mircromanage our son, especially when it comes to school and...

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What's a School Counselor to Do?

Posted on 3/13/2017

Hi John, I'm a K-12 School Counselor and schools today have many challenges. One of them involves working with kids in junior high and high school who are failing, school is not working for...

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Shocking Discovery

Posted on 3/5/2017

I recently found marijuana paraphernalia in my 18 year old daughter's room. She is a senior in high school and, up until this point, a very responsible and trustworthy child. She is an excellent...

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Discouraging Sexual Activity

Posted on 2/17/2017

We have a 15 year old daughter who continues to lie. She currently is grounded for a month, no social events, technology, etc. per the Rosemond Method. She appears to be feeling the pain of this...

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16 yo thief needs strong response

Posted on 2/12/2017

I have read teen proofing once and am in the process of reading it again. But I do not know what to do about our teenage daughter. This afternoon after church I found my extra set of car keys in...

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Teenaged son not making the grade

Posted on 2/7/2017

My 13 year old son is bright but very lazy when it comes to school work and grades. Even though he tested as gifted, he does not want to put the time or effort in that is required to do well. We...

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Troubled Young Teen?

Posted on 2/5/2017

This question is in reference to the October 2016 question regarding my 13 year old's act of vandalism. Fast forward 8 months later. He has completed his punishment, but not without having to...

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Don't Ask, Do Tell!

Posted on 1/29/2017

I have a 13 year old who has always been defiant. She is bright, and a fantastic kid, but when she is asked to do something she doesn't wan, the fight is on. She will not do what I ask, or will...

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Ask them no questions...

Posted on 1/21/2017

My 15 year old has been lying. Last month it was about getting homework done after a busy weekend of chorus performances when she actually was planning on asking a pushover teacher for an...

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Teen Love.

Posted on 1/19/2017

We have a 15 son who is deeply, madly in love with a 14 girl. We aren't thrilled about the relationship, but have come to realize that we are fighting a losing battle in regards to micromanaging...

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Immature Teen Has Cursing Problems

Posted on 1/18/2017

We have an immature 16-year-old with a potty mouth. This son of ours has mental delays as well. Strikes us as closer to 12 or so mentally. We have ten children, some adopted with handicaps. This...

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Cell phone give and take

Posted on 1/14/2017

In the chapter in Teen Proofing about consequences, John does not mention electronics or cell phones. I know he does not feel that kids should have them in the first place, but for those of us...

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Illicit teen boy sleepovers

Posted on 1/4/2017

What is your opinion on "sleepovers" for teenage boys? My son is a good kid but has chosen a friend group that is experimenting with alcohol and pot...Good kids with good parents, but wanting to...

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Angst update

Posted on 12/18/2016

Teenage girl and her angst I spoke to her later that day and let her know that I would be going to her game. The, "I am done listening to you" continues. I agree with the alarm. she has...

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Mom concerned with antisocial 13-yo girl

Posted on 12/14/2016

Hi! Parents of a 13 year old girl. she has always gotten good grades, is involved in sports and has generally been a great kid. In the last couple of years, we have excused some changes in...

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Pick a Church

Posted on 12/10/2016

We are regular church goers. Lately, my 15 year old daughter has connected really well with another church's youth group. Our youth leaders are very strong at teaching the Bible, but do not...

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Teenage girl and her angst

Posted on 12/9/2016

I have a 16 yr old daughter, who tells me, when I start to give her information about something in general," I don't want to listen to you." She gets up, walks to her room closes the door." This...

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Parenting Adult Children

Posted on 12/5/2016

I am the parent of a new, 18-year-old adult, the oldest of my 4 children. What are your thoughts on parents giving children unsolicited advice and unsolicited help? At what age of the child...

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Parenting adult children.

Posted on 11/28/2016

My son is 19 and a sophomore in college. His school is 45 minutes away from our home and he lives on campus. We pay for his college and housing. When he comes home occasionally on the weekend we...

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Teen who steals.

Posted on 11/21/2016

In cleaning up my daughter's room this morning (after she had food upstairs while a friend was over -- even though it is a rule in our house to have no food upstairs), I found food crumbs and the...

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Communicating with my teen.

Posted on 11/16/2016

Do you have suggestions on ways to keep communication open with 16 year old daughters? She is generally a good student, loves church and volunteer work, dance and sports. I am very proud of...

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13 yo Doesn't Like Divorced Mom Dating

Posted on 11/14/2016

Divorced about 3 years. Dating my boyfriend for 1 1/2years. I haven't push the relationship Ive given my 13 year old boy space. He doesn't like my boyfriends daughters. My moms bd was last...

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Family morals revisited.

Posted on 11/10/2016

As a follow up to my previous question, we've had endless discussions over the years regarding boyfriends and cell phone use. We've discussed the traits to look for in a boyfriend, the respect he...

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Graduation Trip?

Posted on 10/21/2016

We have offered to take our daughter on a senior trip of her choosing after she graduates from high school. The problem for me is, she doesn't want my husband or her 7-year old sister to go. She...

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Disagreeable Teenage Girl

Posted on 10/21/2016

Are teenage girls just horribly disagreeable? Right now, I have a really hard time liking mine. I know my husband is having the same problem. We love her, and we try to support her in healthy...

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Mom worried about 5th grade

Posted on 10/10/2016

My 5th grade daughter is having problems at school. She has gone to this private school since kindergarten with pretty much the same kids every year. This class is full of hooligans and the...

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14 Year Old Hater

Posted on 8/14/2016

Hi John, Since I am a stay-at-home mother I am the main parent disciplining my 14-year-old son and our relationship is fractious and full of tension. He doesn't work hard in school unless we...

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15 Year Old Has Sex While Mom's at Home

Posted on 8/14/2016

We have just found out that our 15 year old daughter had unprotected sex in our own home ; middle of the day while I ( the mom) was in the house , her grandmother & younger brother . We found...

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Teen Sneaking Out

Posted on 7/13/2016

Our 16-year-old daughter (my stepdaughter) keeps sneaking around to see her 17-year-old boyfriend. We approved of this relationship until we learned that she was skipping school, forging tardy...

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Teens and their brains

Posted on 7/3/2016

Hi: As a teacher, parent, and social scientist I am always trying to review the most recent information on adolescent behavior/management so I can be better at these roles. I recently stumbled...

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18-Year-Old Being Inconsiderate

Posted on 6/22/2016

Should we expect any structure in the home when our 18-year-old returns weekends from a summer job? She usually heads straight to her boyfriend's family home and rolls in around 3 a.m. both...

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Almost 16 y/o girl and her questionable beau

Posted on 6/21/2016

My 15 year old (soon to be 16) has been going with a boy who is one year older and has been held back once- almost twice from school. He monopolizes all her time. Other than cheerleading, which...

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Tween has Violent Outbursts

Posted on 6/3/2016

I am single mom. My 11 year-old son gets very angry about situations with his friends that he can't control and instead of working things out with his peers tries to shove me around and destroy...

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Good Kids Make Mistakes, Too

Posted on 6/1/2016

Hi! We have a 17 1/2 year old daughter who is finishing her junior year of high school. She is a good kid, makes excellent grades, hold a job, has never had an incident with drugs/alcohol or...

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Irresponsibility in teen's job

Posted on 5/30/2016

Our older teen was released from the family business when she continually did not show up on time. After running through her personal bank account and getting no additional funds from us, the...

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14-Year-Old and Sex

Posted on 5/3/2016

Our 14 year old daughter was caught beginning to give oral sex to a 14 year old boy she likes. We are horrified. She has been raised in a Christian, 2-parent home and knows our values. I don't...

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Interracial relationships

Posted on 4/29/2016

Help! My 17-year old daughter recently broke up with her boyfriend and has a crush on another boy. He just asked her to the prom:). My daughter is amazing, growing up to be a responsible,loving...

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16-Year-Old Losing Interest in Friends/Activities

Posted on 4/27/2016

I’m writing about my sixteen year old son. He never publicly accepted the Lord and joined the church. When asked to say grace at meals he always said something brief. Because of losing my job and...

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Step Daughter Being Irresponsible

Posted on 4/25/2016

My step-daughter decided she didn't want to live in our house with our rules 9 months ago and chose to stay with her mom full time. (See previous questions for any background.) She feels she is...

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16-Year-Old Caught Smoking Pot

Posted on 4/18/2016

My 16 year old has gotten caught by me smoking pot. I took everything from him and said the next time he is out! What else can I or should not do?

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Monitoring 17-Year-Old's Cell Phone Texts

Posted on 4/16/2016

My son will be 17 in July. Do you think it is inappropriate for me to read his text messages without his knowledge? He has been experimenting sexually with girls, touching and heavy kissing...

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Talking to Teen About Feelings

Posted on 3/30/2016

Hi! I heard John on his radio show recently say that we should not engage in conversations about feelings with our children. My 13 year old son is having a difficult time at school with fitting...

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15-Year-Old Cutting

Posted on 3/11/2016

Dr. Rosemond, I'm asking how to handle my 15 yr old daughter who is angry at me over our difference of opinion over her older sister/our daughter desiring to date someone of another race. Her...

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18-Year-Old and 13-Year-Old Brothers' TV Watching Habits

Posted on 3/1/2016

I have a 13 year old son who is well rounded and a very good student. He is respectful and relatively obedient as far as an average 13 year old goes. However a situation has arisen and I would...

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Sex Talk Book Recommendation

Posted on 2/9/2016

Carrie Ludwig, Can you tell me if John Rosemond has a book on the "sex talk". I think I should have the "talk" with my son. He will be age 11 soon. If he does not have one can you recommend a...

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15 1/2 year doesn't respect parents

Posted on 2/9/2016

our son 15 1/2 is very defiant. he seems to have no respect for authority.. especially to us, mom & dad. what can we do as parents to help him with this?

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17 and won't take responsibility

Posted on 1/21/2016

My almost 17 year old son is a Junior in high school. We need help parenting him. And I feel the hourglass is quickly running out--he's supposedly 18 months from graduation/launching into...

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Monitoring 18 yo daughter - Follow-up

Posted on 1/19/2016

Thank you for your response to my previous question. To clarify, my husband has said that in order for our daughter to remain in our home while she finishes college, two things are required: 1....

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Disrespectful 12 year old

Posted on 1/19/2016

My almost 12 year-old son is surly, disrespectful and generally sullen. He and his friends crank called me yesterday (using one of their cell phones, my son doesn't have one), and I did not...

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