Questions

The Grass Really Isn’t Greener on the Other Side

Posted on 3/25/2024

My 10-year-old daughter seems always to think the grass is greener somewhere else. For example, we homeschool, which she enjoys, but often expresses her wish to return to regular school, and when...

Don't talk so much

Posted on 3/21/2024

My 4 year old daughter has been having problems listening and following directions, particularly at her after school program. She gets written up at least once a week and has been suspended from...

Overboard in the Offseason? Dad, Sports, and a 13-year Old

Posted on 5/31/2023

Husband takes our 13 yr old to a sport practice 3x/wk, conditioning 1x/wk, and a trainer 1x/wk which leaves one night/wk for a non-sport activity and one weekend day open. This sport is in its...

Time for a Reboot

Posted on 5/18/2022

Since the first email our son (8yrs) was operated on for septic arthritis 6 months ago. The pain returned 2weeks ago (now gone). His hip bone has a small weakness and he needs to ensure he has no...

Busyness expectations.

Posted on 1/28/2022

Dear John, we have an 11 yr old son. We have always instilled in our children about doing their best at any task they set out to do whether it’s school, school, his tennis practice..etc. From the...

Shy 7 Year Old

Posted on 12/31/2021

My 7 year old first-grader has trouble joining into social situations. He plays well with his 5 year old brother, but with peers, he goes off on his own, and will tell stories to himself (I...

Fear of the New

Posted on 12/15/2021

Our Foster son (8 years old) who we will be adopting in the next 6 months (working on paperwork and all the legal stuff that goes with it) has a very low self esteem and melts down and has a full...

Five Year Old Slugger

Posted on 11/1/2021

Hello! We have a 5 year old who has been having some big problems hitting his parents and tutor. Although we have been using the ticket system for several months, his yelling and physicality have...

You're in Charge

Posted on 8/6/2021

My son is 9 yo. Like his dad and me, he tends to be in the chunky side of the physique spectrum. Being an only child....not having permanent full time playmates makes it easy for him to not be as...

To Ballet, Or Not to Ballet?

Posted on 6/24/2021

I'm a homeschooling mom of two (ages almost 10 and 11). My daughters are involved in a Christian ballet school as an extra curricular activity. They have been going to ballet for about three...

Encouraging Resourcefulness

Posted on 2/26/2021

My husband thinks I need to provide more structure for our 2, 4 and 6 year old. This has risen out of increasing complaints about boredom, fighting between the kids and increasing misbehavior...

Grandson Needs to be Held More Accountable

Posted on 1/15/2021

I just pulled an old John article out of my drawer that I have had for years. It was about how therapy can be detrimental to a child and rarely works. Also talked about kids emotions and feelings...

Normal? Problem? Normal Problem?

Posted on 10/31/2020

Hello! I'm worried about my almost-14-YO daughter. Her grades remain good and she is still on her soccer team. She does not have a smartphone or tablet. Our wifi is off every night starting at 10...

Relationship Reboot

Posted on 12/9/2019

This is a Part II to an early question submitted about a very strong-willed and increasingly mouthy 16-year old daughter. Please bear with someone who has subscribed for YEARS without submitting...

Establishing Routines

Posted on 10/22/2019

Would you be able to give me a sample routine of what a day should look like for a family in my situation: I have twin toddlers (2 years old) with a speech delay. I'm a SAHM who is learning how...

End Micromanagement of Grades by Lowering the Boom

Posted on 10/15/2019

I have two sons (13 and 14 years old) and one step son (12 years old). They've gone to a Christian school their whole lives and are all saved. My issue is with my 13 year old. He is very smart as...

Encouraging Friendships

Posted on 8/26/2019

We have recently moved from US to Singapore for 3 years with my husband’s job. My 11 and 5 year old have made lots of friends and are settling in. My 9 year old son is happy to go to school and...

When only one child misbehaves should the other kids have to miss out?

Posted on 7/24/2019

We live in an apartment. During the working days I am at work all day long. We have three girls: 6-year old, 4-year old and 3-month old baby. The two older kids have been adopted three years ago...

Discipline is not Always Convenient

Posted on 6/6/2019

When our son hits, we send him to his room for the entire day. However, his hitting tends to happen towards dinner/bedtime so we sentence him to his room the next day. Inevitably, it falls on a...

Well-Rounded Son

Posted on 5/30/2019

My 9 year-old son loves to read. He enjoys basketball and baseball. Should I encourage him to try other hobbies or instruments that involve doing things with his hands? If so, how?

Hop off the Argument Merry Go Round

Posted on 5/5/2019

Hi there, My almost 5-year-old has come a long way from his 3-year-old self. I suppose maturity helps. He's no longer throwing tantrums (a.k.a crying loudly) or hitting when he doesn't get his...

Time Management for Busy Moms

Posted on 4/19/2019

For a stay-at-home mom who is having difficulty with time management, what is a good balance between housekeeping/cooking duties, working from home, spending time with husband, and spending time...

Growing as a Goalie and Growing in Life

Posted on 4/8/2019

My 11 year old son has been playing soccer for 7 years. He has had great success in his position and is well liked by his coaches & teammates. Recently he’s been told he will likely be moved up...

5 year old loves/hates martial arts class

Posted on 3/23/2019

My 5.5 year old son gets really angry before going to his martial arts class, which he loves. In the past 2 weeks he has thrown huge fits, soaked his uniform in the sink (he had to go to class...

How much is enough?

Posted on 3/8/2019

I am wondering what you would say would normally expect to be included for a schedule for a 3 year old staying at home. I have my older 2 in school for parts of the day, and I have my younger...

Flowers for V-D for wife and daughter?

Posted on 1/31/2019

I buy my wife flowers for Valentine's Day and I'd like to buy some for my daughter as well, as an annual tradition. Are there any concerns with that, such as putting her on the same level as my...

Liberating the Playmate Dad

Posted on 1/11/2019

I read the column by Dinah Bucholz, Stop Paying Attention to Your Kids. I'm struggling because this is my downfall. My daughter wants me to play with her constantly. I have an overwhelming sense...

Too many toys overwhelm Mom of 2 and 4 year old

Posted on 12/31/2018

We have toys and stuff animal overload. From the year and now Christmas has put us over the top! I have a two year old and four year old. Do I include them in the decluttering process? How do you...

Mom frustrated with resistant 13-year-old daughter

Posted on 12/14/2018

My 13 year old daughter has always had an issue with team sports .She is having self esteem issues and wants to lose weight .She participates in horse riding once a week as the distance is usually...

Find aFriend for college student

Posted on 8/9/2018

What is your opinion about phone apps like "Find My Friends" that allows parents to know their children's location? I had never heard of this but when my oldest left to college, she introduced me...

Okay to Throw the Game Plan out the Window?

Posted on 7/8/2018

My husband is a sports nut....I am NOT. To his credit, he sees the insanity kids' sports has become and tends to be very level headed about things. Our 11 year old son plays rec (not the super...

Attention-Seeking Behavior Disguised as Lack of Confidence

Posted on 6/12/2018

My 8 yr old son is hard on himself and can be quite stubborn. It's a crazy mix of attributes that my husband and I are having a hard time navigating. If he misses 1 spelling word, he shuts...

No interest in extracurricular activities.

Posted on 6/9/2018

My 11 year old son does not want to participate in any extra curricular activities. He wants to attend school and that is all. I have tried to get him interested in sports, but he starts crying...

Let Son Choose His Own Extracurricular Activities

Posted on 5/1/2018

My son is a great student and a talented athlete. He is in 8th grade and during middle school I made him play soccer, take band, run track and just this past year he decided (on his own!!) to try...

The Extracurricular Activities Freight Train

Posted on 4/17/2018

I'm trying to put a slow down on the extracurricular activities by asking them to choose one or two. How much input should they be allowed in deciding which ones? For example, I think they need...

Costly behavior

Posted on 2/28/2018

My 9yo son has broken household items in fits of anger over the years. Most recently a kitchen chair that he threw and a window that he punched. We have kicked him out of the garden and he has...

4.5 year old reluctant about dance class

Posted on 12/10/2017

My daughter is 4.5 years old and has been taking dance lessons for about 3 months (once a week for an hour). So far, she's loved it and always looks forward to the next class. She has never said...

Lower the Boom on 18 year old son

Posted on 10/1/2017

My son has just turned 18 and is a senior in high school. He had his first job this summer doing construction work with some people we know. He did well getting up early and they said that he...

Six year old girl needs to play!

Posted on 8/23/2017

I am having trouble balancing my 6 year old's responsibilities at home. She started school this year (prep) - the year before grade 1. She's at school from 8:30am - 3pm. By the time we arrive...

How to decide on extracurriculars for 7 & 8 yo

Posted on 7/29/2017

We want to start preparing for the school year and get a game plan for our family. Couple of questions...what are your thoughts about extra curricular activities? We have fought the battle of...

Appropriate After School Schedule

Posted on 7/29/2017

What is an appropriate afterschool game plan for a 1st grader and 3rd grader? Can you give me some advice on how to handle homework, chores, and bedtime for this age? What type of expectations...

Entertaining mom can choose a different path.

Posted on 5/22/2017

For the last seven years, I have been in the mode of entertaining my kids. I have spent my time creating activities, planning playdates and going to events. I enjoyed it and I thought I was...

Son Obsessed with Pokemon

Posted on 5/17/2017

Hello! Our son is obsessed! Obsessed with one thing at a time to the point of not completing school work to do it. Right now it's Pokemon. He has a screen time limit - one 30 min show after...

5 y/o son "hates" soccer

Posted on 10/22/2016

My husband enrolled our just-turned 5 year old son in fall soccer. I know John's stance on organized sports, but husband really wanted to do this. Anyway, as it turns out, son hates it. I am...

Four year old reluctant to learn

Posted on 6/26/2016

Our four year old daughter is usually confident and independent. However, she tends to shut down and give very little effort when we try to teach her big new skills, like riding a bike or...

6 yr. old cries going to camp

Posted on 6/15/2016

I have a six year old son who is going to a local day camp this week. He knows a few other children there. He chose to go, but has been hesitant since the camp started. Each day is getting...

Swimming lessions.

Posted on 6/9/2016

My son is now 4.5 years old. It is a priority to me that he learns how to swim for safety reasons. We had him in lessons for about 6 months when he was 2, and most of the time he liked it. There...

Disrespect in front of friends...

Posted on 4/25/2016

My 10 year old daughter is disrespectful to me whenever she has friends over. Unless I remind her to treat me properly before her friends come over, she almost always finds a way to be...

How Much is Too Much Extracurricular Activities?

Posted on 3/9/2016

Is 3 hours of one sport once a week too much for a 7 (almost 8) year old? This sport meets from 6-9 pm (there are additional practices child does not always make it to due to other obligations. ...

To Trick/Treat or Not

Posted on 10/27/2015

My husband and I are having difficulty knowing how to handle a oroblem. We don't believe we as Christians should celebrate Halloween. Our three and a half year old grandson has seen the teachers...

Questions

Search All Questions