Questions
Not Listening the First Time
Posted 1 week ago
We believe in the necessity of our children obeying the first time they are told-without challenge, delay or excuse. However, we also wish to walk the tightrope of a loving, nourishing home,...
Read MoreUpping the Ante Not Working with Misbehaving 5YO
Posted 1 week ago
We have a 5 year old who continues to disobey. We tell her “go upstairs it’s time to brush your teeth.” Or “It’s time to clean up your legos.” And she’ll say, “No!” If we up the ante and say,...
Read MoreTime to Show you Mean Business
Posted 3 weeks ago
Hi! Today, after telling my 9 year old son no, he could not take Pokemon cards to school, he snuck them in his backpack and took them anyway. The teacher called me. She also told me he brought a...
Read More12 yr old boy acting up at school, then covering it up
Posted 1 month, 1 day ago
Our 12 y/o son, who attends a small Christian school, was disciplined at school for crude jesters, at the lunch table in regards to a banana. In his meeting with principle, he was to write letter...
Read MoreDisruptive Diner
Posted on 2/21/2024
Our youngest child is 5 and was adopted as an infant (not a newborn). He has strong food preferences. Our other boys (biological) eat well; they can be picky at times, but we don't fix special...
Read MoreChild Sneaking out of Room for Snacks
Posted on 2/17/2024
When using the Doctor Method and sending your kids to bed early, what do you do when your kid is then so well rested, wakes up before everyone else, and rummages through the kitchen? My 5-year-old...
Read MoreFigure out how to not take it personally.
Posted on 1/29/2024
Hi, we have 4 children. Our oldest is 9 and adopted through foster care. Has been with us since a baby. She has had intermittent food issues like eating until she throws up as a toddler, but that...
Read MoreEnd the Games
Posted on 1/22/2024
First, to start, my 14-year-old son has no behavior issues and is a good kid, good student and a contributing member to our family life. We have a rule about video game usage (I believe video...
Read MoreHow to use charts/tickets with 3 kids
Posted on 1/13/2024
How to decide to use chart or ticket system for 3 kids? 11 y/o and 9 y/o sons would have same misbehaviors #1 Do things 1st time asked #2 Clean up after yourself #3 Aggravating sibling (Sibling...
Read MoreResponding to opposing viewpoints
Posted on 1/9/2024
A while back my kids had done wrong and so I spanked them, prayed with them, hugged them and told them that I love them. That’s how my parents did with me. A person I am close to said I should...
Read MoreToddlers are stubborn and sneaky - really?
Posted on 1/7/2024
We live in a rougher part of town and our front door is close to the road. Because of this and because of my kids being very young (2.5 & 1.5) I don’t want them outside without me. We lock the...
Read MoreVictimhood by a 10 yro
Posted on 1/6/2024
Our son regularly makes excuses, assigns blame elsewhere, etc. when it comes to taking responsibilities for his decisions. He often plays the "poor me" or victim card. What are your best...
Read MoreTime for a Visit From the Doctor
Posted on 12/29/2023
I'm at a loss for direction. I tried lumping my kids together with a chart just to find how different they are. My 4 y/o loves to relentlessly antagonize my 5 y/o whiner, and my 7 y/o loves to...
Read MoreHow much to expect from toddlers
Posted on 12/5/2023
How do I know where to draw the line between what to expect for proper behavior and what is too advanced for the kids (girl 2.5 and boy 1.5) to learn? My husband and I have high standards of what...
Read MoreTurn to Tickets for Sibling Conflicts
Posted on 11/23/2023
I have 3 children (7, 5 & 4) who play very well together. They don't always get along well, and I'd like to do the chart system for them for the same behaviors (whining/tantrums, misusing...
Read MoreFOMO in ISO, and Bud-Nipping: Consequencing an 11-yr Old Bully
Posted on 11/18/2023
My 11 year old son frequently hits, pushes, his younger siblings, ages 6 and 5, when no adult is around. It is very much intentional in trying to hurt the others. He will provoke his siblings...
Read MoreOverspending Lunch Account
Posted on 11/16/2023
My son's school is using a new foodservice company. There have been some bumps as they navigate how to configure it. As of now 5-12 grades are allowed to bill whatever they want to the family...
Read MorePerfectionism and Kids
Posted on 11/7/2023
I have a 4-year-old son, 6-year-old daughter and 4-month-old. We are part of a homeschool co-op group that meets once a week. It isn’t a drop off co-op, so all parents stay the whole time. My...
Read MoreTickets. I’ve got your tickets!
Posted on 11/4/2023
Hello - we have been using some form of the ticketing system with our 5 year old daughter for about a year now. It doesn’t seem like we have made much progress. She is still consistently...
Read MoreTroubled Teen/Perplexed Parents
Posted on 10/30/2023
Hello, We have a problem dealing with our 15 yr old son's violent behavior when we take his phone or he gets grounded. He has been caught taking his older brother's car late at night (without...
Read More8 YEAR OLD BOY WITH VICTIM MENTALITY
Posted on 10/29/2023
I have 3 boys (10, 10 and 8). I regretfully admit that I have fostered a victim mentality in my 8 year old to the point where he now plays victim outside of the house. When he is playing sports...
Read MoreIt's Her Problem
Posted on 10/26/2023
Hello, My 5.5 year old daughter is praised for her behavior by all caregivers outside the home. At home, when I give her a command like “go brush your hair,” she will dawdle, say “not yet” or...
Read MoreTeens Pushing Buttons
Posted on 10/24/2023
Whenever we try to discipline our son, it always escalates into a very bad situation. He recently started driving to high school and he has had a few tardies. He had a tardy a week ago, his...
Read More7yr old not doing what is right
Posted on 10/24/2023
Hello, My daughter is seven years old. She is having trouble focusing in school. She moves around in her chair a lot, often skips over reading instructions, frequently leaves big sections of her...
Read MoreAdjusting the Attitude
Posted on 10/13/2023
Are there any Rosemond certified therapists on the island of Oahu? I've read several of John's books and am still having trouble with my 2 kids, especially my soon to be 13 yrs old son. He was a...
Read More1st Grade Son Prefers Silly Play
Posted on 10/8/2023
My 1st grade son who has always preferred oral "silly" play including making rasberry sounds, whistling, and staccato outbursts of word like but unintelligible syllables, and exaggerated laughter,...
Read More7 YEAR OLD HAS NO DESIRE TO LISTEN TO REASON
Posted on 9/12/2023
We have a 7.5yo son with a habit of yelling/screaming/whining at us when we attempt to talk to him at times when he is misbehaving or breaking family rules. We can barely get the first words out...
Read MoreDISCIPLINE WITH A TODDLER
Posted on 9/5/2023
We have followed your advice and most of the bad behavior (throwing food, bully little brother, battles over picking up toys, being a tattle tale) have cleared up. But we are still struggling some...
Read MoreWE GIVE MANY THANKS FOR THIS UNSOLICITED TESTIMONIAL
Posted on 8/29/2023
Thank you SO much for your advice. Things are going much better. A lot of the drama and stress has cut down. Both kids (2 and 15 months) are happier. I have been praying about it and seeking Godly...
Read MoreTODDLER REPEATING HIMSELF INCESSANTLY
Posted on 8/24/2023
I have 3 kids- 4, 3, 10 months. The current struggle we are having is with our just turned 3 year old son. Come to think of it, this has been an issue since he could speak. Our son will ask a...
Read MoreFETAL DRUG SYNDROME?
Posted on 8/23/2023
My granddaughter, who is 9 years old, was adopted as a newborn. Her biological mother used drugs (heroin, cocaine, and methadone on board at delivery). My granddaughter was in NICU for detox for...
Read MoreParenting in Public
Posted on 8/9/2023
What do I do about disciplining and training bad behavior in public? In this confused world I don’t want people to think I’m being too strict, abusive, or unloving. But I have seen John’s stuff...
Read MoreTattletale Two-Year-Old
Posted on 8/9/2023
My daughter (2 yr) has trouble with being a tattletale. Off and on all day she tells me what her brother (1 yr) is doing. It’s true that a lot of the time when she says he is doing something wrong...
Read MoreTreasured Times--Dating your Daughter
Posted on 7/30/2023
Hi, I am wondering if you would consider one on on child and parent dates a privilege or necessity? If you have a planned one on one child date but the child is misbehaving do you cancel the date...
Read MorePRIVATE COACHING IS SOMETIMES THE WAY TO GO
Posted on 7/29/2023
Our middle son, age 7, has been a challenge since he was a baby. We met a few years ago with a John Rosemond Parent coach about him and it was helpful, but we still have some areas where we...
Read MoreHead Hurter
Posted on 7/12/2023
When my 22-month-old son is told no, he will usually obey but he will take his fist and hit the side of his head (hard!) repeatedly or will start running until he falls and then will bang his head...
Read MoreA 9-yr old, 3D's and the PKR
Posted on 6/16/2023
We are having issues with our almost 9 year old son, the oldest of 3 boys. He is increasingly disrespectful, stirring up trouble with his brothers, being physically violent with us and his...
Read MoreTechnology and the Preteen Boy
Posted on 4/26/2023
Aloha, I want to use the weekly ticket system, or throwing the child out of the garden, to discipline my 12 year old son (6th grade). The problem lies in that much of the homework now is given...
Read MoreFeelings can lead to failings.
Posted on 4/15/2023
My 9 year old son has an issue with expressing emotion. If he gets upset, sad, angry, frustrated, anxious, sometimes even excited, it comes out only as anger and often aggression (i.e. doing...
Read MoreBeFuddled Father Facing Four Females
Posted on 4/10/2023
Hello, I know you don't know the history at all with my step-daughters. However, we gave out Easter candy to our 3 daughters (2 step-daughter and one is my own). The 16 year old step-daughter...
Read MoreWhat Do I Do if My Child Is the Bully?
Posted on 4/1/2023
What do you do when you find out your child is the bully? Recently, I read my 13-year-old son's text thread and learned he was verbally bullying another child. Reading further, he also...
Read MoreNot getting his way head banger.
Posted on 3/16/2023
Hi, My 18 month old son will bang his head against me when I am carrying him if he is angry or does not get his way. For example after playing outside, I will announce it is time to go inside and...
Read More12YO's Rude Behavior Needs to Stop
Posted on 3/7/2023
6 yo daughter and a 12 yo daughter. 12 yo is acting rude toward her grandma. Grandma is loving, kind, interested and attends activities. 12 yo is a good kid, good grades, is respectful. We’ve set...
Read MoreMaking Tickets Work
Posted on 3/2/2023
Hello - My wife and I have loved "The Well-Behaved Child". We implemented the ticketing for a 4 year old daughter and have noticed some improvements but there is more work to do. The consistent...
Read MoreWhy doesn't he hand in the homework?
Posted on 2/17/2023
We have a 12 year old son who is in the 7th grade (junior high) this year. He is a good kid who has lots of friends and is very active in sports and does quite well. Our problem this past school...
Read MoreProgress isn't Linear
Posted on 2/16/2023
After a wonderful 2 hours of the morning, my son was sent to his room again around 8am for jumping on and scratching his dad while dad and the baby were on the couch. However, we had to go to a...
Read MoreDistress at the Dentist's and Choosing Church
Posted on 2/2/2023
Question about The Godfather Principle: We’re currently implementing this because of a rather rough (that’s an understatement) dentist visit. We read your response to the question about temper...
Read MoreParenting dilemma or parenting success story.
Posted on 1/31/2023
John, (or a parent coach) we have told him "it's because God made you a boy". I will accept that my children will not be able to share toys from here on out but the pains it takes us to explain to...
Read MoreAttention-Getting Antics Working for 4YO
Posted on 1/12/2023
Our question is about punishment for our 4½ year old girl. Usually we ask her to stand in a circle on the floor, or we send her to her room for the rest of the night, or a fixed amount of time, no...
Read MoreAnger Mismanagement
Posted on 1/4/2023
My 11.5 year old, quite academic son, is very respectful outside home and loved by his teachers. In past few years he is lacking anger management and becomes disrespectful (especially with mom)...
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