"Don't ask a child a question if you don't mean for the child to have a choice in the matter. "

Manners

John's Most Recent Articles

Teaching Children Manners

Posted on 2/20/2017

Teachers with 30 years or more experience say that today's child is, in general, much less respectful and much less mannerly than the typical child of a generation ago. Unfortunately, unless...

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Teen Will Not Brush Teeth

Posted on 4/29/2014

Q: My 14-year-old son does not brush his teeth, except during the week before going to the dentist. He doesn't have any cavities, his breath is fine, his check-ups at the dentist are at the...

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Recent Questions

Disobedience or Addiction?

Posted on 3/1/2017

Dear John, Our almost-15-yr-old son has been disobeying our rule of no Xbox on school nights but last week was a doozy. When we were away for the weekend, he got his 16-yr-old sister to drive...

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Please?

Posted on 2/28/2017

Can you give me your advice on the use of the word "please" when addressing our children? Should we be avoiding this word when issuing instructions to the children, but otherwise it is fine? ...

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Out of control 5 and 3 y/o boys

Posted on 1/3/2017

Hello, I am doing a miserable job as a parent to my two boys (aged 5 and 3). They are out of hand entirely. We can't get through prayers at the dinner table without at least one of them being...

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10 yo Autistic Trouble Relating to Friends

Posted on 11/3/2016

My son of 10 yo has autism. He speaks all the time. He interrupts us all the time and doesn't seem to see the signs of others when they are upset about it. When revising with my daughter, he...

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Freedom of Speech?

Posted on 11/1/2016

Our 14-year-old son has recently begun using racial slurs in our home, and our efforts to address this issue with words isn't working. What kind of disciplinary action would be appropriate?...

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Draw the line for 5 year old

Posted on 10/31/2016

My 5 year old daughter would rather talk/interact with adults than children her own age. I've always attributed it to her being an only child, despite socialization in daycare and preschool. Now...

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Bad Words

Posted on 9/22/2016

I'm afraid that my 3 year old son has developed a bad habit of swearing, using the "D" word when he is frustrated. I don't think he is just trying to get my reaction either, as he says it when he...

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Expectations for Safety and Manners

Posted on 8/27/2016

What are your thoughts on asking if a family has guns in the house (and asking how they are locked up) before letting my children go over to play? Also, what are your thoughts on insisting...

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Shy 3.5 Year Old

Posted on 7/31/2016

Hi John- My 3.5 year old daughter is extremely shy with both other children and adults. My husband says he was this way as a child and he turned out just fine, so it's not something I am...

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Using tickets with 4-yo at grandma's

Posted on 5/30/2016

We've implemented the ticket system at our house with our almost 4 year old about 2 months ago. Our target behavior is "obey the 1st time." It's really great actually! It helped me to communicate...

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